Our Asian Invasion

 Bangkok.

We arrived in Bangkok at 00:20 and it was really warm.  We had came from the dry arid heat of Dubai, to moist sticky heat here. Our hotel offered a free shuttle service upon arrival, which was great because it saved us haggling a price really late. The hotel was really near the airport. The plan was to sleep in the following morning, and relish having a bed for the first time in 10 days, then begin to plan where we are going in Thailand and how to get there. We didn't do much sight seeing the first few days in Bangkok, and we read a few pages of the the Lonely Planet guide, and after two nights and feeling a little more knowledgeable we jumped a taxi to our new hotel near Th Khoa San in Bangkok's old town. 

 

(Above) Allan eating Thai snacks, waiting for our traditional Thai Massage.

(Bottom) A Minivan converted into a bar near Khoa San Road. 

Determined to not get ripped off, we got in a bright pink taxi, these taxis run on the meter. We told the guy the address and we started on our way. Half way into the journey the guy decides its time for him to go home (for whatever reason, we couldn't understand) and says we get out 'now'. Confused, we agreed to get out at the next safe place (after getting him to knock money off his fare for the inconvenience). 

So we were left in victory square, still a fair way to go to our hotel. From nowhere a huge protest appears, with whistles and flags and hundred of people. Still not sure what it was all about but as the days went by it got bigger and became more inconvenient. When it all cleared we decided to negotiate a price with another taxi driver to take us to our hostel. We had no clue where to get the correct bus, or where to get off at either, taxi was the safe option. Thankfully our next taxi driver agreed to take us to our hotel at the reasonable fare of 100 baht (about 2 GBP).

Bangkok is hot, and humid, and busy and pretty confusing. We found ourselves wandering the streets aimlessly at first, not really knowing where to start. We were watching the locals feed bread and seeds to the fish in the canal, and a woman came over to us and started chatting to us about our plans while we were in Thailand. She was very friendly, and told us that now was not the best time to be in Bangkok, and that the protests were going to get bigger and more interfering. We must leave Bangkok now! We had not booked any trains or buses to go to our next place, nor had we booked any accommodation for these places. I thought it would be easy enough to just sort things out there and then, on the day, off the cuff. I was wrong, especially now that there were huge protests, and a week long public holiday for Thais due to the lantern festival. The woman advised that we should go and organise our trip and get advise from the tourist information people, and she showed us the way to go, and walked with us too. After leaving her, we walked a little up the street before a Thai girl said "tourist information, tourist information..." and we were ushered into the building.

Clearly this was a travel agency and not tourist information. We were lost anyhow so decided to listen to what the girl had to say about our plans. Turned out that we could visit the places we wanted to with all our transport, accommodation and a trek included, over a 19 day period for about 300 pound each. The figures added up, and we where well within our daily budget so we booked with her, and our adventure began...first thing the following morning.

Ayutthaya.

We started our trip by traveling from Bangkok to Ayutthaya, the ancient capital of Thailand. We jumped on the local train for 2 hours, with our huge backpacks in tow. It was nice to look out of the window and see the traditional Thai houses and scenery as we chugged along the railway. I think we both thought in the back of our minds 'there was a chance that we had paid money for a trip that could be a complete flop' but we didn't show it. Upon arriving at the Moradok Thai Guest House, we dumped our bags, rented a bicycle and headed out to explore the ruins of this ancient city. Ayutthaya was great, not as touristy as Bangkok but still easy to get by without knowing much Thai.

The train to Ayutthaya

It was really hot and humid, and cycling about the ruins was the perfect way to see everything. The wind was cooling. However, we were both still not used to the humidity and how much we were perspiring, which meant we were dehydrating quite quickly. It was time to get used to drinking water constantly.

 Me at Wat Mahathat

We decided to go to a restaurant which was a little bit out of town, the maps we have been using lately are all different though so we were a little doubtful that we would find the place. It was well recommended in the guide book, and on a boat on the Mekong river. It felt like we were cycling for ages and not really getting anywhere, we were hot and hungry, plus it was now dark and we had no lights on our bicycles or helmets! (I'm ashamed of myself haha). We stopped at a place where we thought it may be, because there was a huge wooden long boat, it looked very closed, but I was desperate for the toilet so I had to dump the bike and run into (what can only be described as) a grim, grey shower room to relieve myself. I emerged feeling much better about the situation, only to be greeted by a teenage monk who had been showering in the cubicle next to me. To avoid further embarrassment I quickly made my way back to Allan, who was getting directions from another monk. It seems as though we were in part of the living quarters of a monastery. We did find the place in the end, and apart from being bitten by mosquitoes all night it was lovely.

The mystical, wonderous Buddha head trapped in a Bodi tree. 

The Moradok Thai Guesthouse, Ayutthaya.

Allan having his Thai meal on the boat restaurant.

 
Lop Buri

The following day we jumped the train to Lop Buri to see the monkey temple. I really wanted to see te monkeys, I'd heard that they caused havok amongst the locals and I wanted to see how they managed to live amongst people in a town. We were only supposed to be going for the day trip, but w decided to stay over night and visit a cave in the evening. We booked a room at Noom Guest house, basic twin with a fan...all we needed for the one night. It was really cheap at 300 baht for the room (about 6 pounds) and clean enough. Lop Buri was even less on the tourist trail that Ayutthaya, and a lot smaller too. The town was a little deserted though and a lot of the attractions that we had paid to get into (with our park ticket) were closed because it was a Thai public holiday. Nevertheless, we enjoyed walking about the town.

We were due back at the hostel to go to visit the bat cave, at 4:30pm and we had been around every temple we could apart from the 'Monkey Temple' that I really wanted to see. So I left Allan photographing some ruins, and I set off to Prang Sam Yot. I expected something a bit bigger. There were three Khmer style chedis (cone shaped stone structures), on a plot of land not even 1 acre in size, but infested with monkey. They were certainly the highlight, as this temple was not the grandest we'd seen. Monkey's wre pulling peoples pants, tugging at their bags, mating and climbing al over the place. Some people were scared but they didn't bother me, I thought they were funny. The monkey's were a type of macaque monkey, with shiny red bottoms.

 Monkey's everywhere!

Selfie in-front of Prang Sam Yot 'Monkey Temple'.

I couldn't find Allan anywhere, and I'd seen enough monkeys for the day so I headed back over to the Noom Guesthose in the hope that he would meet me back there. Marketeers had emerged from indoors, and where setting thier stalls up for the night market, so finding my way back to the guesthouse (based on what things looked like before) was a little more difficult, plus I was distracted by all of the cheap goodies on sale too 'must get back to the guest house on time Sarah!'. Great, minds think alike, and eventually Allan turned up at the guesthouse, with literally moments before the clock struck 4:30pm. 

We were driving for about half an hour before we stopped at a resort in the middle of nowhere. It was only Allan and I on the bat cave tour. The driver said to us " you go swim now, in there, swimming for 1 hour, back here 4:50, we go cave". So off we went, in the direction the driver pointed. The resort was deserted, apart from three members of staff who were lounging about.The resort looked like it may have been a busy place, one time, in the past and today it had a ghost-like feel about it. We didn't fancy swimming there, the water was bright green so we sat and ate some ice cream for an hour instead.

 Ghostly resort, worn out and tired huts. 

The driver guy came looking for us in the resort, it was time to go to the bat cave. From what I had read about the cave, it sounded really cool! Something we would only experience here, in this town, on this day, and we weren't really bothered about not being able to swim in the water at the weathered resort. We were only interested in seeing this natural phenomenon.

We arrived at the cave just moments before sunset, and there was a pack of wild dogs waiting for us. We did as the guide book said, 'avoid making eye contact' and they stayed away from us, bothering the driver. We stood at the front of a towering rock face, with two slim caves engraved into it. We waited....and waited...and waited some more...and at one point I think I could hear Allan thinking "this better not be a con!". The squeaks began, a few at a time, tiny flapping shadows emerged from the two black slices in the cliff. Suddenly, hundreds of thousands of bats swarmed out over our heads, into the moonlit sky. It was too dark for me to take a photograph so my words will have to do. We stood for about ten minutes, and there seemed like a never ending stream of bats flying over us, then it just stopped and they were gone. It was amazing!

That night, we got into our beds at the guesthouse, with the fan on full blast and the window open slightly. It was probably the worst nights sleep we'd had (so far). The bed was like a brick, but this was fine we had become accustomed to Thai beds by now. The heavens opened, and the rain bashed the corrugated iron roof so hard that my ears rang, then when the rain stopped (some 4 hours later) a bird perched itself on the edge of our window, and tweeted a multitude of different sounding tweets for another few hours. It was a true talent, this bird sounded as though it was mimicking other animal noises from lizard to cat, to owl, to monkey, to lion and elephant to name a few. "Annoying bird, go away!". When we finally fell asleep it was time to get up and go to the train station. Grumpy day ahead. 

The Bat Cave, just outside Lop Buri and just before dark.

Allan lounging in our room at the Noom Guesthouse, Lop Buri.

Ayutthaya/Chiang Mai

We got back to the Moradok Thai guesthouse early in the morning, as we were due to check out that day. Tonight we were taking an overnight bus to Chiang Mai, so we could be there for the Loy Krathong festival. We decided that we would go and see Thailand's largest ancient Buddha image while we still had some time here in Ayutthaya, so we checked out, dumped our bags, put decent walking shoes on and set off in the direction of Phom Phet fort.

What was only supposed to be a short walk turned into a mission, where we had to seek shelter for a while in a Thai woman's shop front, to avoid the rain. We got a river boat over to the other side of the river, where the Wat was. I remember wondering how we were going to get back over, but not worrying for too long as plenty must've done it before. The big Buddha was spectacular! He was huge. I'm not sure whether he looked massive because of his size, or due to the temple he was in being really small. There was only a 2.5 metre wide walkway going around the monument, and the Buddhas head almost touched the red and gold embellished ceiling. In the surrounding walls of the temple were 84,000 tiny Buddhas, in their cubby holes. I think they were representing the many incarnations of the Buddha, but don't hold me to that as being a fact, I have no idea where I sourced that knowledge. Allan also bumped into a girl from the year above him at University, no clue she was even travelling in Thailand, let alone being in Ayutthaya, in this particular temple at this particular time..what are the chances?

The bus to Chiang Mai was late, really late! We got on about 45 minutes after it was due. The plan was to sleep the whole way, and wake up fresh as a daisy in Chiang Mai at 8am. This didn't happen, and we both had broken sleep the whole way, the air conditioning was impossible to switch off so  I was freezing.

Note to readers: Anyone travelling Thailand and doing overnight buses will need a sweater of some sort and maybe a few glasses of wine beforehand to ease the journey (neither of which we had).

Luang Po To (Buddha) at Wat Panan Choeng, Ayutthaya.

Chiang Mai

We were going to Chiang Mai mainly to see and experience the festival, Loy Krathong. A few people I had spoken to (who had visited Chiang Mai before) had said how much they really loved it. My expectations were quite high. Due to the festival preparations, and the fact that it was a week long public holiday for Thais, the city was unusually busy, with cars, mopeds, tuk-tuks and people all over. Rivalling Bangkok for organised chaos, we set out to explore the markets and temples of the old town.

Chiang Mai is made up of an old town, located inside the perimeter of a rectangular wall, with a moat. Then there was 'outside the city' as it was called, because it was on the other side of the moat (this is where we were staying). We were still close to everything, and we didn't mind walking so this was fine.

We were waiting for a while for our representative to come and collect us from the bus station, no one came. I had even put the stupid yellow sticker, that the agency had given us (to make us identifiable) on my bag. I looked like such a tourist, Allan refused to wear it. Still no-one came. We called Pookie to find out where our lift was, we were tired and frustrated and needing a bed, we were not in the mood to be messed around. Soon enough, a BMP (the hostel) rep arrived to collect us from the station, except when we arrived at the hostel there was no room for us there. We were then transported to their sister hostel BMP House, which also had no rooms and put us in the hostel next door called The Redbrick Guesthouse. I was just glad to be somewhere where I could dump my bag and have a nap, but Allan was fuming at all the fuss and commotion. We hadn't anticipated how busy Chiang Mai was during the festival, and we had put all of our trust in Pookie to make sure everything was properly organised which was a little naive of us. Nevertheless, we were here, we had a decent enough place to stay and plenty of amazing things to look forward to: temples, markets, the festival, boxing, our trek and who knows what else.

The temples in Chiang Mai were beautiful, even more so now as they were being decorated with colourful lanterns in time for the Loy Krathong festival. We spent our first day walking around the temples on one of the Lonely Planets free walking tours, we only made it to stop number 4. My feet were aching so much from my sandals. A typical Sarah thing to do; bring walking sandals that I wore ages ago and haven't worn since, not try them on before bringing them, and then decide to wear them for the first time on a day we plan to do lots of walking... great idea! Anyway, to ease the pain I was swapping shoes with Allan and wearing his trainers, and he would wear the horrible sandals for a while, then we'd swap again. This worked for a while but resulted in both of us with sore feet from the deadly sandals. In the end we went to the night market where I bought some flip flops and i could tell Allan was relieved to get his trainers back too.

'Now that we're in the Night Market we may as well have a look around, and see if we can get some comfy trousers..'

I love markets! Especially Thai markets, they are full of colourfully crafted creations. Things I will never really need, but want: to wear, to decorate my home, to give as presents and to play with. Allan on the other-hand does not share my love of markets. Thankfully, he's not completely adverse to walking around and stall browsing with me though, and he even bought a pair of trousers from one of the stalls.

Chiang Mai hosts a variety of markets throughout the week to keep the average consumer busy purchasing:

1) The Night Bazaar: on every evening, east of the old city wall. Sells cheap clothes, household goods, furniture, pashminas, bags and the odd bespoke handicraft. Mostly the generic traveller attire, but there's a good opportunity to haggle on these items. This market is huge, and some items are in specific areas so spend time exploring.

2) Saturday Walking Street: on Saturdays, south of the old city wall. Sells handicrafts, bespoke items, leather goods and trinkets. Not as hectic as the more popular Sunday Walking Street, but selling the same sorts of goods.

3) Sunday Walking Street: on Sunday inside the old city walls. I wish I'd have had more time to look around, there were a lot of gorgeous goodies I would have bought. Most items are hand made, and the market has more of a Eco friendly vibe too.

Loy Krathong Festival.

Being in Chiang Mai during the festival was an experience. The festival was a bit like bonfire night back home, except with absolutely no regard for health and safety whatsoever! It was madness. There where fireworks going off all day and night, kids setting rockets off in the streets, trees alit with burning lanterns and a buzz of excitement in the air. It was great! Regardless of my thoughts: 'I wonder how many people are admitted to A&E with festival injuries each year?' I still liked the chaos surrounding the event. The sky was filled with orange manmade stars, that flowed with the wind. It was truly beautiful to see.

Amid the chaos we had our first proper street food experience. There was so much to choose from: pad Thai, fried rice, skewers, soups, smoothies, ice creams and Thai snacks. We got a selection of foods and sat by the river, watching people attempt to give lift to their lanterns.

Me writing our names on the wall of the rooftop bar, Chiang Mai.

We went to watch a Muay Thai boxing match.

"Oh My Buddha!" Trekking in Doi Inthanon National Park.

It was time for trekking! Three days and two nights near the Doi Inthanon national park. We were getting picked up at 9:30 and our big back packs were being kept at our hostel. We hadn't had much of an opportunity to meet people whilst away, so it was nice to think we'd have other people to chat to (I think Allan would agree too).

We hopped onboard our sorong taa-ou, and there were two Germans. Later on we were joined by three French guys, a German girl and finally two Canadian guys. Another group would be joining us later, at our first stop point.

The trek guides were as mad as a box of frogs! There was Mr Sun, who's name changed to Mr Moon at night time. He would begin trekking with us, and then he would be gone. We would be walking for a while with the group ( and other guide) and notice he was gone, then ( just like the dungeon master from dungeons and dragons) he'd reappear at the next stop, like he'd never been missing. Darro was our other guide, the younger of the two, who none of us could take seriously. He got more and more giggly as the day went by, and randomly ate shrubs and plants as we walked along. We were convinced that he/they were smoking something other than tobacco. Both guides would tell us stories about their encounters with ladyboys and whenever they talked about a sinful topic they would use the phrase "Oh my Buddha!". This became the phrase of the trek. It was only later I realised that that it was their way of saying "oh my God!".

Trekking was amazing! The countryside was vast and green, and we stopped at waterfalls along the way to have a swim to cool down. Walking in the heat was difficult, I couldn't catch my breath at times and this was my main physical setback, the walking wasn't too strenuous. We stayed with a Karren tribe in their village for the first night and stayed in huts at the side of a waterfall for the second night. We had to get washed in the river because there were no bathroom facilities, it was very cold but we just got on with it because we were all smelly from trekking.

Our trekking crew.

We made it to the waterfall! Just another 2 hours to go.

Check out my hat! Made from Banana leaves. 

Crossing the unsteady bamboo bridge on the second day trekking. 

Sukhothai 'Dawn of Happiness'

We'd had such a good time on the trek, and we had a really good group of people who all seemed to get along. Always a bonus! However, it was time for us to head off leaving Chiang Mai for the second time, to explore the ancient city of Sukhothai. I'd not done a lot of research on Sukhothai, but I expected it to be similar to Ayutthaya: dilapidated temples amongst the town. I was wrong. It was much more pristine and prepared for Visitors. Our hostel (Sila resort who were fab at going the extra mile) explained where everything was, how to get there, how much it costs and what time to get there. Seems I didn't need to do much research after all. Phew! 

So we dumped our bags, borrowed two bicycles headed to the bus stop to take us to the historical park. We were staying in Sukhothai town, where there wasn't an awful lot going on but it was the nearest base to explore the surrounding historical parks. 

The parks closed at 5:30 and we needed to return the bikes at the same time, so we had to cycle quickly because we arrived quite late in the afternoon. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and the park was quieter than I'd expected, the main flux of tourist would come early. Armed with our 'not to scale' green tourist map we whizzed through the private roads, lilly ponds and ruins. Cycling was surely the best form of transport today! 

Paying respects to the stupa, by walking around it clockwise. 

Tuk-Tuk back from the Historical park, Sukhothai.
The following day we planned to go to Si Sanchanalai, a historical park an hour away from Sukhothai. The guy from the hotel said he would drop us at the bus station along with another guy who was also going. This was the first time we met Michael, from Italy. 

The three of us rented bikes across the road from where the bus had dropped us off. It was a lovely sunny morning, and we were all geared up to explore the less visited ruins of Si Sanchanalai. 

There were certainly less tourists, but just when you begin to think your the only ones, a minibus arrives with a shed load of Asian tourists with huge Cameras and even bigger lenses, click-click-clicking away the Serenity. Kind of ironic really. 

Michael and I, admiring the ancient stupa.

Allan come down!

Later that night, we went to a restaurant (unfortunately) named Poo. It looked decent enough, and was reasonably priced too. On our way to the restaurant we bumped into our new friend Michael. The Liverpool derby game was being aired on a big screen near the centre, so Michael joined us to watch Liverpool get beat 3-2. It's funny, since we've been here in Thailand there have been so many locals adorning Liverpool tops, hats, socks, bags etc. I didn't realise they would be that famous, so far away from home. Other teams that are big too are Manchester United, Chelsea and arsenal...sorry, no Everton though.

We decided as a trio to go to Kampaeng Phet (an even more non-touristy) historical park outside of Sukhothai. The promise of a Unesco world heritage site in the forests was enticing. Surely we should be full to the brim with Wats, Stupas and temples by now though? 

All I can say about Kamphaeng Phet is: beautiful forest setting, with crumbling ruins. By now I'd seen a lot of the same sort of temple and ruin, it was lacking charm.  

 "Once you've seen one Wat you've seen them all". 

 I think my change in attitude was due to the continual Wat viewing that had occurred over the past few weeks. Wat (ha) I'm saying is, I love visiting temples and ruins, it's important to learn about our past and the beliefs of other cultures etc. not to mention they are beautiful too... but can you imagine visiting a lifetime supply of ancient ruins in the space of two weeks, were talking an average of nearly 3 or 4 temples per day for two weeks... That's enough Wats to put you off haha. 

Pai: The land of the Wannabe Hippy

We'd heard so many good things about Pai. People back home had mentioned it to me, and it sounded like a chilled out hippy hangout in the hills. I was really looking forward to spending some time there and using it as our base to visit other areas. 

After a bumpy, winding, uncomfortable 4 hour minibus ride to the Mae Hong Son province, we arrived at Pai's bus depot (which was no more than a car park between two buildings). The Main Street had a night market on, selling handicrafts, the usual traveler attire and food stalls for hungry consumers. There was no time to browse, we had to find our hotel to dump our bags and get food. 

We were staying at Baan Pai Village, which was gorgeous. Little wooden bungalows with a porch, so cute and clean, with lush green gardens...loved it there! Our intentions were to have Pai as our base and to rent a scooter and travel to see other places nearby. I'd never rode a scooter before, but I had been on a scooter and a motorbike which made me more experienced than Allan. 

"It can't be that difficult, there are tiny women riding about on scooters everywhere in Thailand... I can do this!"  

Thankfully the guys at AYA rental services took me out for a 15-20 minute training session away from the hustle and bustle of the Main Street, so that I could practice riding. 

Pai is a small quaint town in the hills, with an overwhelming population of 'wannabe hippies', or as Allan would say "people who need a good slap" and I would then add "...with a soapy wet cloth". There are a lot of dreadlocks, piercings, tattoos, people walking barefoot, beards and tribal jewelery... I quite like it, people being in touch with nature and being Eco friendly etc. But there are those who are merely imitators of the friendly caring Eco warrior. Stoners: who look like they are in touch with nature (because of their attire) but they are no more connected than anyone else, though they want you to think they are. These people are everywhere in Pai! 

Our bungalow at Baan Thai Village, Pai.

Being adventurous at Pai Canyon.

Crossing the bridge to the waterfall. 

In the hot springs, chilling (or boiling!)

Sappong: Tham Lod cave.

We set off for Sappong on the scooter, it was about an hour and a half ride away, into the hills. It was a good job we paid a little more for a 125cc scooter, because there was no way we would have made it up those mountains otherwise. It was a gorgeous sunny day in Pai, but I the hills it soon changed and the heavens opened. I was feeling very sorry for myself as the rain soaked me from head to toe, blurring my vision in the process. Luckily, Allan had brought his ( useless before today) cap, which held back some of the rain. The scenery was beautiful along the way, but the roads were awful! We were glad to arrive at the Cave Lodge, where we sat and had a coffee and got our bearings before heading to the cave. 

My First day riding a scooter.

The guides were waiting at the park entrance to take our payments and lead us to the cave. We followed the lady (guide), gas lamp in hand, to the jaws of the Tham Lod Cave, where we were then greeted by a boatman. His boat was made from about six or seven long pieces of bamboo bound together with rope. It submerged ever-so-slightly when we got on-board. The water wasn't very deep, but littered with crazy carp fish that followed us the whole way through the cave, begging for food. We fed them and they fought with each other to retrieve the food, and at one point they were so close and vigorous, I thought they may knock the boat over....this didn't happen, I was just being dramatic. 

The cave was majestic, huge stalactites and stalagmites, and some of them had been named by the locals: Crocodile....that's the only one I can remember mainly because it's the only one that actually resembled it's name. In the last cavern, 'The Coffin Cave" there were remnants of ancient coffins where locals had been brought to rest in peace. As we delved deeper and deeper into the heart of the cave, the squeaking of the bats grew louder and more frequent above. By now the floor was getting very slippy too, and the slimy black mud on the floor was all over my converse.  

'Thank God I decided against flip-flops'.

I pondered about how a cave protected from the elements could acquire so much mud, and in such out of reach places. The once strange background smell within the cave became an overbearing stench, something I'd never smelled before. What is it? How did that mud get on the handrail? There must be thousands of bats in here.....wait a minute.....EW! The mud was certainly not mud, but layer upon layer of well trodden, stinking bat poo and I'd had my hand in it. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and after my new discovery it became very difficult to not fall over in the cave, now that I knew everything had poo on it. However, it didn't spoil my experience at all, the cave was magical...with a hint of poo. 

Mae Hong Son: Land of the Long Necks
 

The day before made us realise that there is only so far you can ride on a small scooter before parts of your body become completely numb and your face is littered with tiny splattered insect corpses, so we decided to get the bus to Mae Hong Son. Once there we intended to rent a scooter to explore the surrounding area.

We set off to visit one of the nearer Long Neck Karren villages in the area. I was intrigued to find out about these women, and their freakish long necks. Why did they choose to disfigure themselves? Did they really have unnatural long necks and what would happen to their necks if they took the rings off?

The roads were bumpy and rough, which tested the bikes suspension as well as our own ability to stay sat down. We crossed three water crossing, and Allan kept telling me I was either going to fast or too slow or not using the brakes enough or using them too much. In the end he gave up telling me. Either because I was doing fine or that he realised his words had fallen on deaf ears. I was concentrating. We arrived at the village where we were greeted by a gentleman who explained how much it was and where our money was spent. We paid him the fee (which was expensive by Thailand standards) and reassured ourselves that it was for a good cause: sustaining the community etc. and we proceeded to the main part of the village. 

We walked through a passage with wide stone stairs taking us down to a bridge. On either side of the passage there were vendors selling the usual: pashminas, magnets, bags, Chang beer T-shirts and cheap silver-like jewelery. We quickly scurried past them avoiding eye contact. 

We crossed a rickety wooden bridge, and on the other side three local youths had an elephant tied up next to the bridge. They were selling food for us to feed the elephant. It was a sorry sight, I felt so sad when I looked into the elephants eyes. It looked miserable, swaying from side to side, used as a spectacle for monetary gain. I mean, these people are poor, there's no doubt about that but after seeing how elephants were treated during our trek, I've felt a lot more compassion towards these magnificent creatures. They are so gentle and peaceful...I suppose in a way it's only the same as using horses for transport and riding.

( I've realised I've not mentioned this when telling you about the trek, but all you need to know is the mahouts were rough)

The village was like a market freak show! Not that these women were freaks but we felt compelled to stare at them, behind their bric-a-brac stalls, as they were weaving scarves. We were the only foreigners in the village too so it made things even worse, as we walked past each stall peering in to see the long necks, as soon as eye contact was made we were guilt tripped into buying a keyring, a magnet and a post card as we walked by. I think we felt bad because a lot of these people (including the women) had been completely self sufficient farmers and craftsmen before tourism had taken an interest in their cultural beliefs and traditions, now they needed to sell tickets and trinkets to made ends meet. Tourism had taken their freedom really, and made them reliant. Quite sad really. We didn't stick around for long after this realisation. 

NB: The long neck Karren tribe don't actually have long necks! It's an illusion, they have compressed shoulders and ribs. The ribs have some leverage and move another 45 degrees downwards in the case of the long neck Karren women. So their necks are fine, the bones aren't stretched at all, their ribs and shoulders are compressed. 

View from Doi Kong Mu temple in Mae Hong Son.



Allan being a long neck.










Me on the Fino in Pai. 



Allan and I at the natural hot springs in Pai.











Chiang Rai: Golden triangle







Everyone told us not to bother staying in Chiang Rai for long, 'it's just a stopping off point before going to Laos'. Don't listen to them! Chiang Rai itself has two of the most different temples we'd visited, a decent night market, and it's the perfect base if you are going to hire a scooter and go to the golden triangle and surrounding area. We randomly bumped into Michael again, this time right outside the bus station when we were dropped off. He told us that he was on his way to 'the black house' (yet another interesting place not mentioned in the guidebook). We agreed to meet for food at the night market later on. What are the odds on bumping into someone at the exact moment you arrive in the new town eh? Madness!




We stayed in a cute little hostel called Sabai. It was cheap enough, with the added benefit of free coffee whenever we wanted. The lady who ran the place had decorated everything herself, and there was a subtle floral theme. Kitsch! My favourite theme. 




Our next move was to book the slow boat over to Luang Prabang in Laos, and rent a bike so we can go exploring the north. As part of our bus journey from Chiang Mai, we stopped off at the white temple for 20 minutes. It was a new temple, with very new sculptures in the grounds and a very modern outlook on the correct means to achieve nirvana. It's bright white beauty concealed a very eerie message . There were desperate souls reaching up at us as we crossed the bridge to the entrance of the temple, skulls were used as decorative pillar heads, and there were so many people being ushered onwards to avoid a pile up. The artist was still working on the mural inside, which fitted in with traditional Buddhist imagery but with a twist...some famous faces donned the wall! Such as Michael Jackson, the predator, Mickey Mouse, Lara Croft tomb raider and other celebrities and fictional characters...false idols! There was also a scene from when the 9/11 twin towers where hit, but with a huge serpent type creature being responsible for the destruction. It was pretty cool as murals go! So much to look at and conspire about. 












Images taken from the White temple, Chiang Rai.

The following day we set off on our scooter to find the black house (Baan Dam museum), visit a few villages and temples too. The 'Black House' was notoriously difficult to find, as people had commented on this on Trip Adviser. Even after checking a blog, an online map, and a paper map we still had to stop and ask two separate people directions. We found it in the end and it was creepy in a majestic way. We had heard somewhere that this ghoulish village was the creation of Thai artist ..... the protege of the guy who designed the white temple. A little bit like yin and yang, black and white, good and evil kind of contrasting ideals. One resembled the pathway to salvation and the other an impression of hell. The 'Black House' was dark and grand, entirely made from wood and furnished with deathly reminders. Wall to wall dead animal skins, horns, bones, furs and feathers. It was pretty horrifying for me (being a vegetarian) but I was still really captivated by the place. It was like a holiday rental village for evil occult folk, very weird place...but a definite 'must' when in Chiang Rai.

Images taken from the Baan Dam Museum (Black House), Chiang Rai.

The Golden Triangle 

 I knew that there had been issues with Opium
 smuggling and addiction in the north, but I knew very little about the 
enormity of the problem, and it's history. Today we planned on educating
 ourselves a little more about opium and The Golden Triangle. 

NB
 The golden triangle is the trade route from Thailand to Laos to Burma 
(Myanmar) back to Thailand again, and it originates at a point where the
 Mekong river has banks in all three countries, like a triangle shape. 
The golden part of the name emphasises the money that was made through 
the trade of opium and opiates. Just thought I'd share that bit of info! 

On
 the way to The Hall of Opium on our trusty scooter, we were going 
faster than normal (because we didn't want to be late, it closed at 4pm)
 and the back tire popped! The bike wasn't as easy to maneuver and the 
back wheel was shaking. We pulled over to discover the problem. We had 
no idea how to change a tire on a scooter, that part of the AYA service 
15 minute training was skipped for some reason. Anyway, lucky for us we 
looked super lost and helpless, a Thai guy with a pickup truck pulled 
over. He knew no English but the signs were clear that the tire was 
bust. The guy and Allan lifted the scooter into the pickup, and he took 
us to a local garage. The mechanic inspected the wheel, and discovered 
the inner tube had completely burst, shredded, tattered! A new one would
 be the only a solution. So we replaced the inner tube for 200 baht 
(about £4) and set off again for the Hall of Opium. 

 

"There's  no way we're going to make it before 4pm". 

We
 arrived at The Hall of Opium at about 3:50pm, not long to explore this 
monumental site. Lucky for us, it didn't close until 5pm (not 4pm like 
it said in the guide book) so we had enough time to look around. We were
 the only tourists there, and this place is huge! It was almost like a 
private tour. As we left one section, the staff were turning the lights 
and power off behind us. 

It was fascinating to find out how the
 Thais had become slaves to opium, and the Chinese were also badly 
addicted to the drug at one time that their powers weakened and they 
lost Hong Kong island to the British. 

The Brits were the baddies in the 
story, getting people hooked and weak and introducing smoking opium into
 the culture. There were wars over opium trade in the country, and some 
simple farmers who were once self sufficient now relied on the opium 
trade to support their families. Opium dens opened up all over the 
country in the early 20th century, and one in seven people were dependent on the drug. It's still an issue in some remote towns in the 
north of Thailand, Laos and Burma. There are only 2 poppy plants that 
produce the codeine and morphine found in opium, so not every poppy has 
the ability to seep opium.  

Me outside the Hall of Opium

 Me walking through the eerie hall of Opium

Allan and I at the Golden Triangle.

Sop Ruak, the town that boasts its historical connection with the Golden Triangle is a bit of a fairground. Even the big Buddha statue looks like something from a dated amusement park. We literally stopped here to take a few pictures of The Golden Triangle sign and capture the three countries on the Mekong, before rushing back to Chiang Rai to return the scooter. It was going to be tight, and we needed to get back before the shop closed to collect my passport. Tomorrow we were leaving Thailand on the slow boat to Luang Prabang, it was vital I got my passport! 

Whizzing down the highway, freezing and running out of fuel we knew that we were going to be late. At the next petrol station we pulled in, and tried to communicate to the guys to get them to call the rental place, to tell them we were on our way. I'm not sure what they said to the woman on the phone, but they were laughing their heads off as we drove off. We were lucky again, for the third time that day because the office was still open when we bolted up the driveway. Phew! Made it.

Laos: Slow boat to Luang Prabang.

Our day began at 5:50am in Chiang Rai. It was still dark outside, and there was a fresh chill in the air, and I was glad I had brought my sweater. The weather here was cooler than the rest of the places we'd visited in Thailand. Feeling really tired and grumpy, and without any dollars too (which we needed for our Laos visa) we decided in a last minute surge to gain American currency to exchange (at an awful rate) with a local guy ( not alone though, as others did the same too). The boat was cramped and we were sat by a group of 6 German stoners who smoked, talked and played terrible toneless renditions of 'all along the watchtower' and 'Hero' for 7 hours, amongst other Songs I once liked, but now loathed. They laughed and joked and were having fun, but I just wanted to get there, to our next destination, to Pak Beng, and maybe do some reading and sketching along the way. Maybe I'm being antisocial? Lucky for me I had my earphones. 

The scenery along the way was prehistoric! Huge rolling hills, covered with dense Jungle. The trees were tall with hanging roots, the kind you would imagine Tarzan to swing from. The Mekong river was wide and coco brown (Allan's description of the colour) scattered with random colossal, rugged boulders, which posed as obstacles for our captain. Fortunately, this was a slow boat, so he would have plenty of time to divert if necessary.

On day two of the slow boat to Luang Prabeng, the boat was even more packed than the day before. At one point I thought we may have to sit at the back, near the engine room but we decided to have another walk about the boat and found seats at the front. The engine room would have been the worst place for anyone to sit, the constant dull humming of the engine would drive anyone into a slow depression, especially after 8 hours, not to mention the room was dark and right next to the poorly plumbed toilet.

The long wooden boat was already packed when we arrived, and there were still people to board. By the time we set off the front of the boat had bodies and bags everywhere. People on the floor, people on their bags, people sitting on random plastic chairs that had been brought on to aid the seating crisis. Some people were taking up two seats, spreading their legs and giving space to their day packs. How inconsiderate they were. People were walking up and down the boat, looking for space and they received blank stares from the guilty ones. Other passengers began to point out the spaces where feet and bags were laid, and a little person inside me was laughing saying "haha, you thought you could take up two spaces and now your squashed!" (Allan used a cuss word to describe these people). I just don't understand why people aren't more helpful sometimes, we're all in the same boat here (literally)! 

There was a massive standoff when we reached Luang Prabang. The boat docked at a port 5 miles away from the centre of Luang Prabang. Most people had guide books that displayed the location of the slow boat landing, and it was in central Luang Prabang, not here! Others said that they had read about a scam on the Internet to get tourists to get off the boat early, tell them this was a new the new port, and charge them extortionate prices for a Tuk-Tuk into town. With all of this 'scam talk' working its way around the boat, we (a force to be reckoned with) decided we would not get off the boat until we were transported to the designated slow boat landing. 

A hefty strong-willed German woman took it upon herself to be the voice of the group. Tuk-Tuk touts were coming onto the boat, trying to get people to go with them to the town. They assured us that this was the new stop as per the government, and the boat would not be going anywhere with us on it. 

"Weeeee shall not, we-shall-not-be moved!" 

A slim, ginger haired Australian guy came rushing down the hill. He walked along the side of the boat attempting to explain the situation. He'd been talking to the boat captain, who was casually watching tv with some of the other tuk-tuk drivers, and he had told him that the boat would be leaving for Luang Prabang in 30 minutes, and that the current stop was a ploy to make us pay a lot more than usual, to get to the town. It was a scam! The ginger guy spent a good 10 minutes walking around the boat, reaffirming his newfound knowledge with the rest of our group. This strengthened our staying power. We were more annoyed that none of us had been made aware of any stops outside the town, and we assumed that we would have been told by the booking agent at the time. We were going nowhere! The German girl became more and more aggressive (on our behalf) towards the touts, and we backed her up one hundred percent. 

2 hours later.... 

It was almost completely dark now. We had been refusing to cooperate for longer than expected and it didn't look like the captain or the boat would be leaving this port anytime soon. We were dropping like flies and dwindled down to a handful of people still standing our ground (no longer a force to be reckoned with). Allan and I were the last people to leave the boat, but not without telling the tuk-tuk touts exactly what we thought of them and their scam. 
Inevitably, the minute we walked up the hill to get a ticket for the tuk-tuk, the captain reappeared , trundled down the steep muddy slope, hopped on board and steered the long wooden boat out of the dock, in the direction of Luang Prabang. Typical eh! Not the best start to our time in Laos, whatever will happen next? 

Me, about to board the first boat of the day to take us to Hua Xia.



The first day on the slowboat to Luang Prabang.











Day 2: Slowboat to Luang Prabang














Luang Prabang: Not just a stop off. 

After passing through the shanty vicinity of Luang Prabang, we got closer to the beautiful and quaint centre. There is an obvious French colonial influence in the architecture, with dark wooden shop/hotel fronts, and shutters on the windows too, it was such a change from Thai architecture. 

NB. Architecture isn't the only thing that the French had influenced in Laos. There were also plenty of bakeries and fresh baguettes available day and night. It was such a nice change to from rice and noodles. 

We didn't walk very far to get food, we were so hungry, and there were only bags of crisps available on the boat, so we settle for convenience. As we were waiting for our food, Allan spotted Michael walking past. We shouted him over to come join us. We always seem to be a step behind him on our journey. We'd not had an opportunity to read a lot about Laos before coming here, so it's always good to chat to someone about what their plans are. He was off to Phonsavahn to see the plain of jars, which sounded pretty mysterious. The impression I got, was that there were these huge stone jars, scattered about the hillside, and no one knows how or why they were made and who they were for. We would head there next after a few days in Luang Prabang. 

The following day we went on our temple and sightseeing tour of the city. It was easy enough to walk and pretty to look at. We started on the opposite side of the Mekong River, there were three temples here. Sadly they were not as we'll preserved as the Thai temples that we'd been used to, and this side of the river was also less touristy too. A small girl said "Hello" and I responded with "hello" and then she followed us saying "hello money, hello money...". We tried our best to pick the pace up and ignore her plea, but there was no ignoring how poor these people were. We'd been advised against supporting begging, which was difficult for me because I feel sorry for people too, but these people needed more than a few pence from me, they needed long term investment. 

After visiting the three temples on our walking tour we headed back through the villages to get the passenger ferry back. I couldn't help but feel a little on edge and insecure in this new country, my guard was certainly up and everyone was a scammer (in our eyes). Our slow boat incident had set us and the Laotians off on the wrong foot. Back on the other side we headed to see the royal palace, which was closed that day so we planned to climb the hundreds of steps up to the hill top temple for sunset. 

Luang Prabang is like Pai but with better architecture and less fake hippies! 

One morning we got up at (before) the crack of dawn (being 5:00am) it was still dark outside. We'd heard about the alms giving ceremony that happens every morning. The locals (and really annoying tourists) line up on the street with bowls of sticky rice, sweets and biscuits etc. and the monks come round collecting. We came out in the darkness, walking up and down the street like lost puppies. People were walking the opposite way from us so we just assumed that we'd missed it and came out too late. We walked back and decided to go buy some water and discovered we were actually walking in the wrong direction. We came across truck loads of east Asian tourists (I hate to generalise but this is a mere observation) with gigantic cameras and stupid hats, all lining up to take a mat on the floor outside the temples for the ceremony. The darkness of predawn was lit by sporadic flashes from every angle. There was no sign of the monks yet. It was supposed to be a humble, peaceful, quiet service and it was like a circus. People shuffling everywhere, locals selling rice and treats to the tourists, tourists then buying and posing for photographs with their bowls with sticky rice and treats, there were people everywhere! Suddenly, in the background of the fuss a gong sounded....GONG! GONG! GONG! And people assumed their places upon mats on the pavement. The noise level decreased to a murmur and the monks silently emerged from the temple gates. They carried small cylindrical drum-like containers with straps and a lid. The monks would lift the lid as they approached a kneading layman, who would then scoop some sticky rice up and put it into the container. The monk would then move on go the next lay person, who may then place some treats into the container. They had so much stuff in their containers that they began to skip people in the line, and some of the monks distributed their rice and treats to poor country folk who where sat along the street with cardboard boxes. This was really heart-warming to see. The juxtaposition was saddening and hypocritical: on one side there were people who had spent so much money on food to give to the monks, just to have their photographs taken, as evidence of their devout faith, and right next to them were people starving and poor, begging for help and they failed to notice, because they were too busy being part of a show. 

Sunset View from the hilltop Wat. 











Me, The Buddha and the Naga. 




























Hive Ethnic Fashion Show














Us eating food the Laotian way at Tamarind. 






















The Alms Giving service. 












Intricate mosaics at Luang Prabang's largest temple. 






























Kuang Si Falls, Luang Prabang.

If ever there was a place that inspired fairy tales and fantasy novels about distant lands of peace and tranquility then it would be here at Kuang Si Falls.

It was a multi-tiered glorious cascading limestone formation, with pale blue chilled waters. 

The kind of chill that stings after a few minutes. We walked all the way up to the top of the falls, where we saw monks jumping into a secluded pool. Allan wanted to try this, but the monks were so nimble on their feet they made it look easier than it was. By the time we found the way to the pool the monks were leaving and Allan had lost his bottle. After all, once he'd have jumped in there was an 6ft ledge that he had to climb upon, and a narrow ridge to get to that, with a huge drop on the other side, so who could blame him? We followed the monks back down to the lower tiers. They were jumping from rock to rock with flip flops on, and we were almost descending on our bottoms (I actually did do this).

At the bottom we went for a brief swim in the waterfall. We had just two hours to explore the area before we had to head back to the minivan. It was pretty cold, and took me ages to get submerged completely. After 10 minutes it started to burn a little too. Still it was an ethereal setting to swim in, I think my Dad would have like it.

Perfect setting for a fantasy film/novel.






Monks having a swim.














Phonsavanh: Plain of Jars

We got on board a tightly packed minivan and traveled through a serpentine road for 7 hours. The scenery along the way was gorgeous, with layers of lush green jungle hills for miles and miles. Then it changed to an arid flat plain of red clay. Not as gorgeous. As we drove by, you could see that the area was loosely populated with wooden shack houses and random water filled craters. The scars of war made by US bombies (as locals call them and pronounce the 'b'). The town was hot and dusty, with flat featureless buildings, hardly a place of natural beauty. 
We had arrived late afternoon so planned to hire a scooter the following day and visit the 3 sites in one. We had heard of a few places with free film screenings about how Laos was affected by the US war in Vietnam. I personally didn't even consider Laos being affected by the war at all, mainly because they were a neutral country and had no conflicts with anyone. After watching one film we were well educated on the fact that Laos was bombed more during the war in Vietnam, than Vietnam was. In fact, more bombs got dropped on Laos during the Vietnamese war than Germany and Japan combined in World War Two. That's horrific!

Basically what would happen is: the US soldiers would be flying back to Thailand from bombing the Ho Chi Minh trail, still half loaded with weaponry. They would drop their load on Laos before landing in Thailand because it was safer for them. The plain of jars was the most affected area in Laos, and out of the 260 million bombs that were dropped on the country, around 30% didn't explode, and are still claiming the lives of simple farmers everyday. We couldn't help but think "I wouldn't like to be an American travelling here!" The US government seriously took a huge crap on these people, and their wasted warheads are still sneakily blowing people up today. 

The Mines Advisory Group (MAG) were doing everything they could to clear the Unexploded Ordnance (UXO) from Laos as there was so much work for them to do. A lot of the local women had been recruited to disarm bombs too. These people couldn't farm without fear of death , the land couldn't be developed because of the danger and they were trapped in a time warp unable to progress as their neighbours had. It was very sad. 

So we hired a scooter, and I've become a bit of an expert on 'the old automatic scooter' - if I don't say so myself- except this time they only had manual transmission scooters. Not one bit confident! I think I stayed in first gear for quite some time in the beginning. Allan wasn't going to attempt the task either, so it was up to me to get us to The Plain Of Jars in one piece. It was like being back to square one again except this time on more challenging unpaved roads. Really, a dirt bike is what we needed for this terrain.

We started at the site which was furthest away in hope to miss the tourists. On the way we stopped at the abandoned Russian tank site, where we climbed inside to see what it was like. every loose piece of metal, material and rubber had been salvaged by locals who recycle, and all that was left was an empty hollow shell. We had left the town without any Kip (Laos currency), and only had 1000 Thai baht. The guy who was working at the site (fortunately) changed the money for us, and it was the best rate we'd had, so far. There was no-one else there, at the site, which was great! Not a big site, but still relatively impressive. The jars ranged between 1-2m in height and 1-1.5m in width. As local legend goes: a giant race of people who once occupied the land, had crafted the jars to use for distilling rice wine, to celebrate their victory in destroying a great sea monster. It must have been some party, because there were hundreds of these massive jars scattered across the area. We were only visiting a couple of sites, there were a lot more, and some still undiscovered too. 

The larger site (site 1) was the most touristy, with people picnicking near the jars. A lot of the jars were damaged during the war, when the area was heavily bombed by the US Airforce.
On the way back we stopped off at a small village in the area that created a positive from a negative. 

"Turn something that kills into something that feeds"

The locals recycled the scrap aluminium they had salvaged from bombies and aircrafts to make spoons, bangles, bottle openers and keyrings which were then sold to help the village community. The locals were taught (by a western visitor) how to melt down the metal and mould the spoons. These spoons are in most markets in Laos but we bought ours from the village! 
The following day we left for Vientiane, the capital of Laos. 

Great roads eh!









Russian Tank.














Site 3: Plain of Jars














Site 1: Plain of jars.












Vientiane: Capital of Laos

We arrived in Vientiane really early in the morning, after our first night sleeper bus. we had decided that: instrad of walking about the city with our huge bags, trying to find a room, we would go to a café , have breakfast and use the Wi-Fi to find somewhere and get ourselves organised. We chose Joma Café, and we stayed there for ages! 

When we finally left and got checked in, we went to visit the national museum, which was very close to our hostel. It was a really grim museum, dated and mostly photographs and reading. I get bored really easily and was bored within minutes of being here. It really needed a bit of money spending on it to make it a bit more interactive and update some of the displays. I was walking about thinking: 

'I could make a display better than that...I 'd have to fix that because it would annoy me...they haven't painted this display properly..'. 

I wouldn't recommend it, unless you really like black and white political photographs and poorly constructed displays. 

We visited the COPE centre, which was the top attraction in the city on Trip Advisor. This says an awful lot when your top attraction is a centre for rehabilitating people who've lost limbs in UXO incidents. It was a really heart-warming experience, and the work that they do at the centre is fantastic. 

The Buddha park was probably the highlight for me. It was about an hours bus ride out of the city near the Thailand border. We took a bus and then a tuk-tuk the rest of the way. We shared a tuk-tuk with a Laotian woman who had fled to America as a refugee during the war in 1975, and had lived there ever since. She was visiting her family and friends, and was with a lady she had gone to school with many years ago. It was great having someone who could speak Laotian, and it made us feel like there was less chance of being ripped off. She was really nice, and paid for us to get into the Buddha Park too (Without any reason). 
The Buddha Park was just as it says: a park full of Buddhas (along with other Hindu gods). This is what made it special, it was a mixture of both religions. It was weird, but I liked it. The statues were part of a collection belonging to a monk. They are pretty much all concrete and we were allowed to climb on them (no-one stopped us).

We were running out of things to do after such a short time period, so we ended up going bowling (number 3 attraction on Trip Advisor). It was mad! The bowling alley was like something from the 90s, and we were the only westerners in there. Nevertheless, we donned the shoes, I bought a beer and headed to the isle. I think Allan had bad vibes about the place, it was rather surreal: banging happy hardcore music, and everyone looking at us. Allan couldn't find a ball he was happy with, and it was his go first. He must have tried every spare ball in the entire alley. "Come on Allan!" He flung the ball down the isle and missed every skittle, and the Laotian group next to us started giggling. I had pressure to perform. Lucky for me the game was on my side. STRIKE! Allan to go....1 skittle! Me again....9 skittles! I couldn't hide my joy, Allan hates losing at anything and he was so gutted, mainly because he wanted to come here more than I did. The guy next to us was trying to get Allan involved in some bet, to win money, whoever scores the highest....taking the piss of course. 

Anyway, his performance was then blamed on a sore toe he has and how the shoes were too slippy and the ball wasn't round enough or the isle was wonky (I made that last one up, however if I hadn't have let him win in the end this would've been his next excuse). Allan you are funny sometimes! 

Early in the morning we left Vientiane, slightly disappointed by the capital, yet open-minded about our next destination, Vang Vieng. The minibus to Vang Vieng was sooo bumpy, and I was unfortunate enough to been dealt the back seat, where I sat between three guys from England who had all taken sleeping tablets for the journey. They bounced up and down, flopping weightlessly all over the place, squashing me throughout the journey. They must have all gotten whiplash from that journey.

 The very dated Laos National Museum.













 The heart-warming Cope Centre.











Monuments and Wats around the city centre.









The Buddhha Park.

Vang Vieng: Paradise Lost

In Vang Vieng the tourists out number the locals by 3:1, and it was very obvious too. the tubing scene had brought this place to its ultimate high a few years back. The town was booming with crazy loud 'farangs' roaming the streets semi-naked and intoxicated, offending the locals and injuring themselves along the way.

NB. Farang is the word Laotions use to describe a foreigner. 

As many as 27 people died one year during tubing, and these were the ones that had been registered at the local hospital. Other fatalities had been directly transported to Vientiane'z general hospital. The true figure is unknown. After watching a few videos on YouTube it would be easy to get hurt during tubing. None if the zip lines, swings or slides were safe, the water was very strong at high seasons and there were huge sharp jagger e's rocks poking out of the river. We weren't that interested in tubing but we were intrigued about how it had all changes since that major shutdown last year. Most places in the town have a curfew now of 11pm, where everything shuts and the streets become bare. 

The countryside was fresh and rocky, with limestone karsts protruding from the earth. A river ran beside the town and there was an island where the river forked. The town was relatively small, and cheaper than other places in Laos for accommodation. We had decided that if we were going to go tubing it had to be today, we had a tight schedule and had to be back in Vientiane on the 14th December to catch a flight to Hanoi. So off we went in search of the legendary tubing agent. 

We hadn't planned this very well at all! After paying for the tube rental, then the deposit, then buying a dry bag we didn't have very much money left to have a drink in the bars along the river... 

So for anyone who doesn't know, this is what tubing is: you have a huge inner tire tube, you get dropped off about 3km upstream, hope on the tube, the river carries you back to town, but along the way there are bars you can go into, and amazing scenery. 

...We had enough to get 4 drinks so it wasn't quite as mental as it could have been but we weren't really bothered about being drunk in a river, we wanted to remember it and take in the surroundings. My advice to anyone who would like to go tubing but avoid the scantily-clad wasted westerners, just get a dry bag with a few of your own drinks in and float down the river without stopping. If we'd have thought about the experience a bit more then we'd have done this. 

The empty shells of what once were bouncing bars remained, skeletal on the banks of the river. A lonely man sat smoking at the once bar front, watched as we passed by, newly enlightened to the effects that shutting down had had on local businesses. For a moment I felt quite sorry for him, in his empty tatty bar. People had become so reliant on the income generated by getting tourists wasted, but no-one bothered to make anything safer when tubing hit its peak. Things got more dangerous. In a way this was probably some of the excitement of it, but people just don't know their limits, especially young, drunk and high westerners. 

Floating down the river was lovely, and by far the best part of tubing. We stopped off at the second and third bar (third bar being the last one) and had one drink. It was exactly as I'd imagined it to be: loud, cheesy music, people sitting about and people dancing, people playing volleyball and most of all a lot of vulnerable people. However, it was still mildly amusing in the bars. One guy tried to limbo under a stick that was on fire and couldn't do it, so he lifted ip (stupid move) and got charred his chest. 

We were told it would take 3 hours to float down the river, and that we had to get the tubes back to the shop before 6:30pm or we will be fined 20,000 kip. We got on our tubes at 3:15pm and we had stopped off at bars too, there was no way we were getting that 20,000 kip back. This was the least of our worries as we slowly floated downstream towards town...it was getting dark, we where in the middle of the countryside with no lights on a river and we may not be able to see soon. The people who we were floating with we're also worried about the darkness approaching. It didn't take long before we were all floating down the river in complete darkness. "How much further can it be?". Local guys were shouting from a bridge "tuk-tuk?". we floated past them further down the river. Nothing but trees, darkness and .... "OUCH! where did that rock come from?" Yes, there were rocks popping up everywhere, so we all made the conscious decision to get out at the next possible point and get a tuk-tuk.

The following day was exploring time. We hired two mountain bikes, and equipped with a tourist map we headed off in search of caves and waterfalls. The area was littered with both, the limestone karsts provided the perfect conditions. I'm not going to lie and make out that I was great on the mountain bike, I certainly wasn't! The first cave we went to was straightforward enough to find and travel to. It was a cave that had been used by locals as a haven during the war. The second was a bit, well a lot further away on a very bumpy road with extremely misleading signs but worth the strain to get there. The Poukham Cave, sat at the top of a steep stairway of boulders. We needed head torches to go in there as there was only natural light at the entrance of the cave and the rest was darkness. The cave opening was touched by heaven, with solid beams of white light shining through the crevice onto the Buddha statue. In my head I could hear angels singing. "Ahhhh". We saw a group of Spanish it's going to the cave, deeper past the main cavern, wearing flip flops and armed with 1 head torch and an iPhone flashlight. We took one look at them and thought that if they were going in deeper then we could. So we followed them. 

The cave went about 1km deep and we went the whole way, at least we went as far as we could. It was like we were exploring something new and different from anyone else (apart from the 3 Spanish guys in front of us). Most of the tourists who came into the cave walked up to the crater, had a little look about, and then went back. However, because we had followed the Spanish guys, we had seen a thin ledge that they walked on to cross a ditch, and we did the same. By doing this we entered a whole new section of the cave with massive stalactites and stalagmites. It was really cool! It was so quiet and dark inside the cave, with only the sound of our own voices and the dim head torch to accompany us. It was quite scary but exciting too. What could be in here? Creatures? People? I think I'd pee myself if I saw someone else. There were random holes with signs next to them saying 'danger'. I couldn't help but think of the people who may have fallen down there, and how far they fell, and what injuries they incur, and if anyone heard their cries? Scary! I still felt the urge to have a quick look down the hole. Butterflies! 

We spent about 2 hours wandering around and exploring, and we left no stone unscathed. We left satisfied with our adventure and headed down the hill to the blue lagoon. 
It wasn't as busy as when we first arrived but there were still a good number of tourist congregated around the lagoon. The lagoon was bright blue waters, in a deep deep river that (I think) flowed from the mountain somewhere. Next to the lagoon grew a big old tree with branches growing over the water. People were jumping off the branches into the water. It was very deep water so possible to dive in from quite some height. It took me a while, but after cohering from Allan I decided to have a go. The water was quite cold so I began with the lower branch and then worked my way to the top. I was quite proud of myself, it was a little scary, especially after hearing about all those people hurting themselves doing similar things when tubing.

That night there was a jungle party with a free tuk-tuk ride there and back, so we decided to go to that. We were all packed for tomorrow so could afford a few hours of dancing at the jungle party. It was t quite in the jungle! Nor did it play any jungle. It was a concrete floor with a bar, and a DJ and some fire throwers. I'm not knocking it, it just didn't do what it said on the tin, that's all. Nevertheless it was a pleasant evening and the music was quite good too. We saw some familiar faces from the slowboat too, namely the annoying German stoners. They were there, bopping away to the beats. I said "hello" to one of them ( the one who sat next to me) and we had a brief chat about our travels. How two-faced! Well, they were annoying at the time, now they are just everybody else. 

We wished we had more time in Vang Vieng, we didn't do half of the caves and waterfalls that were on offer in the area. It's a town that is grasping tightly onto the tourism industry after tubing had declined, and things are improving. I have a feeling it will be a hub for adventure sports and caving trips in the near future. 

S

ther

TThe view from the top of the first cave.

Us getting ready to delve into the depths of the Poukham Cave.

Aw how cute is Allan haha.

Others had been here before us, many times, and left their mark upon the inner cave walls.

Ready ...

Steady...

J-UUUU-MMMP!....

Splash!

Vietnam, Hanoi: Scootersville (14/12/13)

Our flight to Hanoi was really quick and efficient, and Laos Airlines provided us with a little lunch too, which seemed like it was served moments before landing. Upon arriving in Hanoi we realised that it was going to be a lot colder than Laos and Thailand, the sky was grey and overcast, and pretty miserable to be honest. This was the first rainfall we'd seen in ages!
We were waiting for our transfer to arrive. There were many drivers at the arrivals lounge, all holding up boards displaying different clients names. Some Russian, some Chinese and some other western names...but not ours. "where is he?". 

He turned up eventually, (after we waited for 20 minutes) and bundled us into the people carrier bound for Blue Sky Hotel. Now, I thought i'd seen every possible crazy scooter rider with ridiculous cargo in the world, especially whilst spending time in Thailand and Laos. People are just mad the way they overload these scooters...anyway, I didn't think much could shock me anymore until I saw a woman with 20 stone pig (in a cage) strapped to the back of her scooter, whizzing down the motorway. Absolute madness! but you have to give her points for creativity. 
Scooters where everywhere in Hanoi. They literally ruled the road, the pavements and pretty much anywhere they could get to. They even had scooter taxi drivers, or "moto" as they would shout, when you would pass by. 

That night we went to The Golden Bell show. It was a collection of traditional songs, dances and drama from Vietnam, and the perfect initiation show for newbies to the country. The Vietnamese are really proud of their culture and history, and this shone through the show. At the end of the show the performers invited the crowd to get up on the stage and take part in the bamboo dance. I was one of the first people to get up (as per usual) and it was tricky. You have to really concentrate on where to put your feet or the bamboo sticks will bash your ankles. Allan got up too, and he was quite good at it.

Ho Chi Minh was the country's ex president and the Vietnamese love the guy! I mean they really, really love him. So much so that they went against his personal wishes (when he passed away) to get cremated, and decided to preserve his body and display it in a glass box at the mausoleum. Tad weird don't you think? We visited the mausoleum, and sadly I have no pictures of the inside (where his body is) because we weren't allowed to take any once inside. We weren't allowed to wear hats either, or speak loudly, or stop and gawp at the body. I forgot the last rule once inside, and was ushered along by one of the heavily armed guards. Strange experience for sure, he was so well preserved that he didn't look real, like a waxwork. He had a full head of who spy white hair too. 

Interesting fact: every year (since 1969) for three months of the year Ho Chi Minh gets shipped off to Russia to have his preservation treatment done.

We went for a walk around 36 streets, which was not far from where we were based. Every street is dedicated and named after the specific item on sale there. There was a street of shoe shops, a street of soft furnishings, a street of electronics, a street of picture frames, a street of grand clicks, a street of mannequins (my personal favourite because it was random), and a lot more categories that we didn't get a chance to see. 

The Vietnamese have really embraced the celebration of Christmas, and the night market had so much tinsel and decorations on sale you would think this was a Christian country. However, it's not and the Vietnamese don't follow a particular religion as such, but they worship the signs of the land, the air, the sea and celebrate their ancestors. At least, this was the explanation I got from a Vietnamese guide, there may have been some aspects that were lost in translation. Personally, I think that they just like the look of the Christmas decorations and display them to make visitors feel at home and festive. 

On our last night in Hanoi we went to see the (highly recommended) water puppetry show. The show was a sell out, and we arrived early to make sure we had decent seats. The puppets were great! They were only about a foot tall, and semi-submerged in a watery tank. I'm not 100% sure how they managed to operate the puppets from behind the curtain though. I was thinking about how much the children from my old class would love to see a show like this. Allan wasn't too keen on it though, and was in and out of consciousness throughout the show. 

Me attempting the bamboo dance

The cast of the Golden Bell Show, a few extra members too.

Gotta love those spiral potatoes

Street food at Hanoi's walking street.

Central Jail: Hanoi.

Peeking through the cell doors where PoWs were kept who were due for execution.

Temple of Literature: A temple dedicated to the teachings of Confucius. 

Sick of the constant catalogue poses from other tourists

 I decided to take the mick, and join the crowd temporarily.

 Army Museum

Ar

Allan in the US Helicopter

Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum...perfect weather for it!

Us having a rooftop beverage at Hanoi's Rooftop Bar. 

The most expensive beer we've had yet. 

Water Puppetry in Hanoi. 

"Allan, Wake up! it's the end now..." 

Halong Bay: City and Cruise (18/12/13)

We got a mini bus from our hotel in Hanoi to take us to Halong City. Halong means: the place where the dragon descends into the sea. Old legend has it that the area was once home to a fearsome dragon who lived at the top of the mountain. The dragon was there to protect the people of Vietnam from invaders in the North (The Chinese). When the dragon heard the invaders approaching, it would rush down the mountain, and its huge flapping tail would hack out pieces of the mountainside, and these pieces would fly up into the air and form the karst wall that is Halong Bay. This wall of rocks (1969 of them in total) would be an effective defence shield for the North Vietnamese, and soldiers would hide in the caves and fire at the Japanese (WW2) and later when the US army were attacking. 

Halong city was a bit of a wasted day too. we thought it would be cheap and there may be a few internet cafés about where we could submit out Canadian visa applications. We were wrong! We were panicking! The applications opened at a specific time (12:00GMT) and if we weren't on a computer ready to login at that precise moment we may miss out on an the chance to work in Canada. We eventually found a hotel that had free internet, which meant we could rest for a while. 

Halong city was pretty depressing. Hardly anyone about, mainly because everybody would arrive and go straight out on a day/night cruise. We decided that this would be a great way to see the karsts. Cruising through the formations on a boat, taking everything in. It sounded wonderful. We spent a few hours sieving through the hundreds of boats that were in operation, trying to find the cheapest and most recommended. We settled for a Halong Glory cruise. 
Visas submitted, packed and ready we jumped a taxi to the pier for our cruise. Except, it wasn't very easy to find at all. Allan went off in search of the tour operator, asking anyone who looked official where Haling Glory Cruise was. I was waiting with the bags, consciously aware of the time and the lack of contact with Allan too. 

"Where has he gone? Is he still over the other side of the car park asking questions?". 


Eventually he turned up and we decided to go and look together. I went up to the first guy with a logo t-shirt on and he pointed me to the departure lounge for Halong Glory Cruises...simples! 
After over a month of the simple life we were excited about a bit of luxury on the cruise. You cannot appreciate the good unless you experience the bad! The boat we had booked on was the cheaper one and we were in a standard room too. The boat we were taken to was the superior one and we were put into a suite too with a free bottle of wine, free fruit basket and the softest bed I have ever Slept in. Our window looked out onto the turquoise waters of Halong Bay. We were surrounded by craggy green karsts, like a protective wall of rock sheltering us from the vast ocean. 

Normally when I eat anywhere there are one (maybe even two) choices of vegetarian dishes on the menu. I've came to terms with there being very few options for me, and I'm not too bothered about this because it's a social occasion, dining out. Anyway, lunch time came and the staff were bringing dish after dish after dish out to me. I was the only vegetarian on the boat so it was even slightly embarrassing the amount of food I was brought while everyone else was sharing dishes. I had to give my food away because I could not eat it all. This was the same at dinner time too. 

We visited a floating village just off the coast of one of the Islands. The village was dependent on the fishing industry, and whole families lived here, there was even a floating school! We paddled about the village, and it was quite funny in hindsight because we couldn't work together paddling. I think we ended up moaning at each other because Allan was telling me how to paddle and I got on my high horse because I'd done kayaking before and was telling him I knew better...being an expert haha. I ended up paddling on my own for a while which was a lot easier (sorry Allan). 

We got back to the boat, wet from our watery trip, and we were quickly ushered into the dining room to begin out Vietnamese cookery class. We made spring rolls. I loved it! It made me want to do more cookery classes. My spring rolls were pretty good (the guide said) some people's were falling apart and baggy, the knack was to make sure the rice paper was damp enough to mould or it wouldn't stick. The chef took the rolls away and called us back later to eat them on top deck with a glass of wine.

"I could get used to this!" 

We cruised through the Gulf of Tonkin, marvelling in the silent beauty of the seascape and daytime slowly turned to night. It was beautiful. 

The following day was an early rise to go and visit the Surprise Cave, the first of many caves we would see in Vietnam. The cave was discovered by French colonist miners, who were looking for coal. This area is rich with coal, yet the national park protects 1969 of the islands from mining, but there are other islands that aren't in the national park that will still be mined. It was called 'surprise cave' because...wait for it....they were surprised when they found it. How original. It was a largely touristy cave, with a well trodden path, and a penis shaped stalactites that had a provocative red spot light shone onto it. It posed some uncomfortable questions from the children in our tour. The different coloured lights spoiled the cave really, and the well trodden path, and the herds of tourists too. It was still a cool cave, and at one point it was the largest cave in Vietnam (in 1901) but I'm looking forward to doing some real caving when we get to the national park. 

Waiting to hop on board the Glory Cruise

Our home for the next 24 hours

 The wall of rocks that makes Halong Bay the most spectacular place.

Cookery class:Veg Spring Rolls.

"....My heart will go oooon and ooooon!"

Surprise Cave: Halong Bay

Cat Ba: Halong bay's Largest Island

After the Halong Glory Cruise had docked, we waited around for a few hours for the passenger ferry to take us to Cat Ba. Cat Ba is the largest of Halong Bay's islands and home to worlds most endangered primate, the Cat Ba Lingur. It was currently low season in Vietnam, mainly due to the weather being wet and miserable, which sadly meant that if there were less than 20 people wanting to board the ferry then it wouldn't leave. Some people looked as though they had been waiting all day for a ferry to arrive, and were told to wait for the next one, and then the next one and then keep their fingers crossed for the last one. Fortunately, when we arrived at 3pm there were enough people for the ferry to leave. I had turned up earlier on in the day hoping to get an earlier ferry but I was told that the ferry was at 3pm and to come back then to buy a ticket (not enough people basically). The build up of people throughout the day had meant that the ferry would leave at 3pm...Phew!

If we'd have known earlier (what the ferry ride would be like) we probably would have saved our pennies on the Glory Cruise and just headed out on the ferry for the day. The views of the karsts were breathtaking. 

After arriving at Cat Ba town we walked about trying to find our hostel. I was beginning to get tired and my bag was heavier and more uncomfortable than ever before. I stepped of a high-ish curb and landed unsteadily on my left foot, which twisted and collapsed beneath me, and I fell flat on my chest. Luckily I had my smaller backpack on the front which cushioned my fall, however I was weighed down by the weight of my big backpack on the back. Unable to move and in terrible agony I winced on the floor, not sure what to do with myself. A few Vietnamese guys rushed from their errands to help me up and see whether I was ok. I didn't want to move at all though, my ankle was really throbbing and sore. After a few minutes of whining and feeling sorry for myself I mustered up the motive to rise:

"Ouch ... That hurts!"

I made it, limping all the way to the hostel and I spent the first evening in Cat Ba with a huge bag of ice on my ankle to help the swelling. 

After a night of rest my ankle was feeling much better, so we decided to rent a scooter for the day and tour the island. It wasn't a very touristy place, but those who where touring seemed to be into trekking, climbing and deep water soloing. It was a different crowd and we liked it. 

We visited a cave called 'Hospital Cave', literally because it was used as a hospital (and hideout for high ranking officials) during the Vietnamese war. Inside the cave were long, grey dark corridors made of smooth concrete. It was a really eerie place, full of ghosts. I mean, I could imagine the people who had died in this cave, from illness and injury many years ago, and here we were walking the corridors all alone (with our guide), all alone.....creepy feelings! I couldn't help but think this would be the perfect location for a horror movie like Saw or Hostel. 

We noticed a lot of fake American 100 dollar bills, lying about near the ferry pier. "What are these doing here?". They were so obviously fake that there is absolutely no way any shop attendant or market trader would be fooled by them. Benjamin Franklin was laughing his head off on the front in disbelief at how fake he looked, they looked like they had been printed on cheap toilet roll paper, that stuff that also resembles greaseproof paper.... Anyway, I'm going off the point a little.... our guide in Halong Bay said that the locals often burn things in the streets (we saw them in Hanoi) and that they believe that whatever they burn transcends into the spirit world to be with their ancestors. So if you want your ancestors to be rich in the afterlife, in theory you'd burn money...or in this case fake American money. Ancestors didn't seem to be fussy about whether the money was real or not, it was the idea of wealth that was passed over into the spirit world. I'm hoping there are no fraud investigators in the afterlife to check, and that everywhere accepts American currency too. Funny that they only burnt American currency though, don't you think? I never saw one person burning Vietnamese money. 

We decided that if we were going to climb, (in Vietnam's capital of vertical challenges) then we had better go with the most reputable and pioneering company, Asia Outdoors. Allan was really keen to ttry some Deep Water Soloing (DWS) but it wasn't warm enough for me. The thought of climbing and jumping into the water after I'd reached a certain point on the wall wasn't appealing (to me) in this temperature. I was quite happy to do a top rope climb in the afternoon, and stay warm and dry. 

The following day Allan was up and out with the DWS crew for his morning session, and I went back to sleep for a while. Sometimes it's nice to do nothing at all, even when you're travelling. We've still been up and our everyday doing something, there's never a pyjama day. So I went to join the group in the afternoon for lunch and then climbing on the limestone karsts. Allan was having a full on climbing day, and joined my group for rope climbing after DWS in the morning. Such a monkey! 

Wow! Moody beach, our climbing location was just gorgeous! A small strip of leach surrounded by huge black limestone formations that protruded from the crushed coral sand. The rocks were pretty jagged though. If you fell and bashed yourself on them then you'd get a cut for sure. As the guides began to set up the routes for us, I began to get excited to climb. 

Climbing was amazing! I used muscles in my hands and arms that I didn't even know I had. The limestone karsts added to the beauty of the experience, and when I made it to the top of each route it was customary to hang about for a while and check out the view from the top. It was very difficult and painful too though, some parts I honestly thought I would fall or that I was stuck, but I made it in the end and the ropes helped. The best place to climb in the country! We climbed (at our most difficult points) to a 6b, and it was a full body challenge, physical and mental. Parts of the wall were 19 metres high, I think that's the highest I've ever climbed. Having the rope certainly acts as a safety nett for me. DWS just seems a bit too scary for me, climbing 20 metres to jump into the water, I'd be crapping myself! 

Cat Ba national park: View Point

Allan DWS in Cat Ba

Phong Nha-ke bang national park: Adventure time!

We took the overnight bus from Cat Ba to Dong Hoi, which was the nearest large town to the national park. Being a typical Vietnamese bus It was supposed to arrive at 5:00am, giving us plenty of time to dump our bags at the hostel, pack a small bag and get prepared for our two day one night caving trek. We learnt a valuable lesson: never travel and make plans for that day because you cannot rely on public transport to be on time. 

It arrived at 7:15am at Dong Hoi, and we were supposed to be getting picked up at 8:00am by Oxalis to begin the trek, and we still had to get to the national park (which was 40km away). A Swedish couple who were on our bus said they would share a taxi with us. They were an odd match, I mean there aren't any rules about who can be with who I'm fully aware of this but they were an odd match. The woman was really tall, cheerful and slim with frizzy dark blond hair and huge lips and teeth, she reminded me of a school teacher, a cartoon one of course (because I'd never seen anyone of her type on my teaching course). The guy was shorter than her, delicately built, dark hair and chiselled features, with a beauty spot on his cheek. He looked like a young miniature version of Robert DeNero. They were both headed to the Phong Nha-Ke Bang farmstay, which was the same direction as us, except they were in no rush to get there (unlike us). Thankfully they identified with our plight and shared a taxi with us. 

By the time we arrived at Easy Tiger hostel it was 8:20am, there wasn't anyone waiting for us (like we imagined), instead we had to call Oxalis to collect us. 
The other clients were all trying on their boots and filling up their dry bags when we arrived at the office. "We made it!"  

There were 6 of us on the caving trip (3 couples) 1 guide (called Thanh) and 4 porters to carry the equipment. We had to walk for an hour or so across fields and through a river to get to our lunch stop at the Porcupine Cave. The hike wasn't to difficult, but the river was a little bit cold. It was our first experience of getting wet and walking in our we clothes. Everybody was in high spirits though and chatting along the way. There were huge karsts popping up all around us, and the landscape became more dense with jungle and rocks as we walked for longer.  

 The Porcupine cave was up in the side of a hill, we had to comb up to it. It was here that we had lunch, and it was here that we began our trek through the Tu Lam Cave system. It was like being a real explorer! Traipsing through the caverns, identifying stalagmites and stalactites, heletites and cave pearls, subterranean crickets and spiders... It was great! 

After lunch we trekked through the cave and our guide pointed out various rock formations to us. We then had to climb down a 50 foot ladder, deeper into the darkness. I wasn't scared though, I was excited about what we would see. It was so quiet down here, only our own voices would be heard. 

We saw a huge spider at one point, bigger than my hand! 

Our guide really liked to take photographs with the Swedish couples' camera. They were suitably named 'Camera Couple' from then on. Their real names are Patrick and Theresa and they took some fantastic photographs of the caving trip and were kind enough to share them with us after the trip was over too. Thanh, loved this camera and really had an eye for photography also, I think that 'Camera Couple' thought they may never get their camera back. There were also 'hot couple' because the guy in the couple was really warm and unaffected by the cold water in the cave, and then there was us 'cold couple' because Allan was very affected by the cold water. So much so that his shivers were continuously joked at throughout the trip. On this day I was glad to have a generous layer of fat protecting me.

We emerged, from the cold waters at the mouth of the cave to be met by a waterfall, and we knew that we weren't far from camp now. We had a short hot coffee break and took in the sights before continuing our journey to camp. The whole time I was thinking about the Vietnamese and Americans who had marched through this terrain 50 years ago, for days on end, camping and surviving out here. It must have been difficult for them, all the time being alert that the enemy may be nearby. I imagined being in Apocolypse Now or Platoon or even Forrest Gump...the parts where he's in Vietnam of course. 

Throughout the first day of caving we had seen all manner of things: jungles, rivers, waterfalls, caves, swam through caves, huge spiders, cave pearls, complete and utter darkness and we ended our day freezing cold and happy to change clothes. We had earned our dinner by the time we made it to camp. The porters were there waiting for us to arrive and had already put up out hammocks for the night and began chopping veg for our feast. We got changed into our dry clothes and sat around the jungle camp fire ready to eat. The rushing of the nearby waterfall was our soundtrack, and the smells from the smoking barbecue filled our lungs and made our belly's rumble. 

Tomorrow was going to be even tougher! More climbing and more in and out and swimming inside the Tu Lam system. I wasn't over the moon to be cold and wet but it was worth it, how could I not be excited?

After breakfast we began day 2 of our caving adventure.We had to put our wet clothes on from the day before too, which was horrible but there was no point in putting clean dry clothes on to get wet. It made us think about all of those troops who would have been surviving in this terrain during the Vietnamese war, and how they would have worn the same dirty clothes day-in-day-out and had to fight for their lives too....we couldn't moan about some wet clothes. Besides after a few minutes we'd forgotten about it already.

We had swam through the Tu Lam cave in complete darkness and freezing cold water and made it out the other end at the river near the entrance to the Ken Cave. This was where we would stop for a snack break. The trek was almost over and it had been the most wonderful adventure and I wished there was more time to explore. We still had an 8km trek back to the village before it was completely over. We changed into our dry clothes and walked over to take some pictures of the Ken cave entrance. We were going to swim through it but a few people weren't too keen on getting wet again. I would have loved to have gone swimming through the cave. Inside has been photographed many times and is a true beauty of nature, one of the photographs even won a 'photo of the year' award from National Geographic. 

We took some photographs and headed back to camp when something awful and unexpected happened......I fell into a ravine! I misplaced my foot on a mossy log and fell about 4 foot into a ravine with boulders on either side. I landed on the 'weak' ankle from Cat Ba, and it bent 45 degrees inwards as I twisted around falling clumsily. In my head I heard something CRACK! 

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!!!!" 

pain like I've never felt it before, it had to be broken this time. I was lying squashed and crippled in the little river completely helpless. I couldn't move at all, and didn't want to for fear of seeing my foot dangling on a thread of ligament. Everyone was fussing around me trying to get me up but I felt dizzy and nauseous, I think I was in shock a little. Eventually Tanh and Allan helped me get up and get back to camp, but unlike before the pain remained and my foot couldn't take any weight at all. The swelling around my ankle was instant as well as the bruising. I wouldn't be leaving the valley by foot, that was for sure. 

It didn't look good, and while the guide and the porters decided what to do with me they sent the rest of the group back to the village ahead of us. Allan said that they would need to get a helicopter to get me and they should call for one, the pother option was to be piggy-backed the whole 8 km up the mountain, down the mountain and then up and down another mountain too. The porters where used to carrying upto 50kg of weight in their back packs, and these guys were absolutely tiny. Tanh told them about the predicament and my weight too (65 kg) and they looked at each other in disbelief, and pulled faces that displayed their concern for the suggestion. This was definitely a bad idea, a helicopter is a good idea but that wasn't going to happen here in the middle of the national park in Vietnam. Piggy-backs it was! 

The 3 porters and Tanh had to take turn at carrying me up jagged rocks, through the jungle and they were wearing jelly bean shoes. Can you even imagine the horror of the situation? They were struggling to keep hold of me and I was struggling to hold on. If I let go I would have fallen down the side of the cliff and be even more injured than I already was. It was the single most terrifying experience in my entire life, the grim reaper walked slowly behind me the whole way. At some points (mainly when we were descending) I had to tell them to let me go down on my bottom because it was just too slippy and steep for them to carry me down. My clothes were torn and tattered from sliding along the rocks and rubble. I felt an overwhelming sense of despair and unable to hold back the tears on a few occasions I broke down into tears. 

By the time we reached the second mountain it was beginning to get dark, we had to make it back before dark as the other porter (who had left with the rest of the group) had taken the headlights and other equipment. I pretty much hopped up and down the second mountain, then piggy-backed through a river, left Allan and Tanh in the fields and was taken via scooter to the village by one of the porters. The mud was so bad in the fields the scooter couldn't make it the whole way, so I had to hop on and off a few times, and the poor guy with me lost his flip flops in the process. From the minute I had hurt my ankle to the time we arrived in the village, it had taken 6 hours to travel 8 km. Overjoyed, in pain and stinking of my own (and other peoples) perspiration I sat and had a nice cold 333 beer, while waiting for Allan and Tanh to arrive. 
What an ordeal! I was glad to be alive. 

Christmas Day: Phong Nha cave and Tiger Tiger

We were going to join Howard and some of his friends and some backpackers on a Christmas Day trip to the Phong Nha cave and have lunch with them. It sounds quite bizarre and untraditional but I was really looking forward to being with a group of people at Christmas, that's what it's all about isn't it? Being part of a family, chatting, being merry... I know it's about remembering the birth of Jesus too, but it's about family for me (and I'm sure it is for others too). I guess I was missing everyone back home, missing my place at the table, wearing stupid paper hats, drinking red wine, missing Naboo's in his Christmas outfit and all the familiar faces I love...but for now this has to be my temporary family of travellers. 

We hopped on a long boat and cruised through the cave, which was lit with many different coloured lights. Some were nice but others distracted the eye from the caves natural beauty. The cave was huge and the locals would hide their supplies during the Vietnamese war inside the main chamber. it was also a hospital and army base. I was hobbling along at the back when we got off the boat and walked through the cave, but I wasn't bothered, I was just glad it wasn't broken. People asked me what had happened and I told them about by fall and being carried home. The story got shorter and shorter the more I told it.

We went over to Tiger Tiger for a Christmas Buffett and unlimited alcohol too. We weren't staying in Tiger Tiger, and the place we did stay didn't have any food facilities and was really quiet so we thought we'd get involved in Tiger Tiger.

The guy who ran the place was also the evening entertainment, and asked if anyone wanted to get up and sing a song with him to let him know. This was cue for me to go check out his song book. I sang two songs with him and then another guy got up with his guitar, and I sang a few songs with him too.

We sat around the big open log fire outside, drinking Hanoi Beer, chatting about our adventures and listening to the music. It was different from most years but I still enjoyed it.

Hoi An: Customised Mecca (26/12/13)

We departed from Phong Nha early in the morning, and began the first leg of our journey to Hoi An. After a long minibus ride we got to Hue. The idea was that we could get a bus from Hue to go straight to Hoi An, except the bus for today was full and if we wanted to get to Hoi An today we would need to find other means of getting there. Allan and two other guys who were also travelling to Hoi An went looking for alternatives. In the end we hired a private car to take us to Hoi An via the Hi Van Pass (which featured on an episode of Top Gear). 

We arrived at Hoi An and it was street after street of custom tailors, ready to make your very own custom fit shoes, dress, pants, suits etc. No-likey No buyey (just to make it rhyme). Architecturally, it was a bit like Luang Prabang, french colonial style buildings with shutters and all made from wood. It was cute. We dumped our bags and went off looking for somewhere to eat. I could quite easily get lost in the narrow bustling streets, filled with vendors all wishing to serve you. It was was easy to walk about town with no purpose other than to soak up the historical and cultural energy...and take millions of photographs too. We eventually consulted trip advisor (because there were too many food choices) and settled on a place called Minh Heim, the best vegetarian restaurant I've ever been to! (sorry Egg Café you've been demoted to second). There was so much to choose from and it was inexpensive. We also had a glass of beer for 8 pence! We decided that we'd probably be eating here for the duration of our stay in Hoi An. 

The following day we set off to get some custom items made. We once again consulted the ever knowledgeable Trip Advisor for their recommended tailors, people had told us that it's best to get a recommendation as some tailors do a shoddy job. We were a little bit excited about the thought of new clothes and there's a chance we may have gotten a little too excited and ordered too much. I ended up with: a three piece suit, a long dress, a short dress, two tops and pair of casual pants. It sounds like a lot but i can assure you I got it all at a very very reasonable price. The three piece suit was made from 100% tweed with a silk lining, which was the most expensive item I purchased, but will serve me well for a few years of applying for jobs back home. I'm trying to convince my self that it was a good buy, can you tell? haha. 

Allan was like a mini Hitler instructing the tailors about what he wanted his custom made leather jacket to be like. Everything down to the tiniest detail of suede straps and buttons was specified and changed along the next few days of fittings. We both had shoes custom made too. I got a pair of leather sandals, which were measured to fit my feet exactly and Allan had his favourite shoes (which were at this stage of the trip were falling apart) copied and made in leather. I could stay here for ages and get all kinds of things made it was great and a gorgeous place too. 

Ho Chi Minh city: new year

It was time to leave Hoi An with our new clothes and bring the New Year in at Ho Chi Minh city. It was so much warmer there too, and when we left the terminal the heat hit us. Hoi An had been relatively cool at night and a nice temperature during the day. It took ages to find the bus stop at airport. A German couple were also looking to get the bus into the centre from the airport. The seemed to know what they were talking about, or at least they were very assertive about where to catch the bus. They said to stay where we were standing because the bus stopped there. I was a little doubtful about this because I'd seen a bus stopping further down a few minutes before, nevertheless we listened to them and low-and-behold... it never and we had to (sort of) run after it. 

I though Hanoi was bad for scooters but this took the mick! There were literally scooters everywhere, all over the road, dominating the tarmac and on the curb too. You can't cross the road at all, it was sooo busy with scooters.

The idea was to find out what our friend from Canada (Rahoul) was doing for New Year and meet up with him and his other friends. They were all in Ho Chi Minh City for NYE and we'd maybe go to street party or ministry of sound. I think Allan really wanted to go to the Street Party to see the fireworks. I wasn't really that bothered about New Year, it's never been an important day to me, it's just another day. I think since Auntie Bettie passed away and we stopped having New Years parties it just became another day, with a huge hype and a huge chunk of money being spent on an outfit and money to spend to get into places, that I wouldn't normally go to. 

New years eve, Allan and I got dressed up for the first time in ages, in our new togs and bought a bottle of Vodka and some Redbulls. We had a few drinks in our hotel before heading out to meet everyone. We ended up in the backpacker area drinking Vodka, there were so many people everywhere, all very very drunk. Allan was one of them haha and fell asleep at one point. We ended up losing everyone and walking the streets trying to decide where to go. Street party or Ministry of Sound Party? 

We stopped to gather our thoughts which resulted in Allan falling asleep again. Ther was a really weird guy on a scooter standing next to us. All i could think of at the time was "go away! We don't want a lift on you mot moto" 

NB. That's what they Vietnamese called out to you, to see if you wanted a moto taxi. 

Anyways he was just hovering nearby, and I'd catch a glimpse of him in the corner of my eye, scratching and fidgeting.  "What does he want? I wish he'd just go away!" after about 10 minutes of him hanging about like a bad smell and staring at us I turned to look at his face, and he shook his tongue at me in a derogatory way. I was horrified and pulled a face that expressed this. Then I looked down and.....

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWW! Allan he's having a w**k!"

That soon woke Allan up! He jumped to his feet and began to chase the guy across the street. He was gone though, after all he was on a scooter. What a strange night it was turning out to be. We decided at this point that we'd just try our best to salvage the evening and get a taxi to Ministry of Sound.  

Ministry of Sound was dead! The bouncers let us in for free, and we were just s happy to be somewhere that played anything other than Avicci we were all over the dance floor. I was even dancing on my sore foot! 

We decided to go on an excursion to the Cuchi Tunnels on the 3rd January. It's the biggest underground tunnel network in the world with a total of 200km of underground tunneling in the south of Vietnam, and was used by the Vietnamese to defend themselves during the war. Inside the Cu Chi tunnels it was cramped, sweaty, smelly and dark. Vietnamese guerrillas fought, lived and defended from there. It was really interesting to see how the traps were set using simple designs made with bamboo. The traps were pretty scary to see, and you could imagine enemies falling down the hole into a sharpened bamboo spike pit! It was a painful way to go.  

Before we left for Cambodia we decided to visit the Reunification palace. The guide book described it as something you'd imagine in an Austin Powers movies. It was very 60s but not quite as Austin powers as we were hoping. It was interesting to see the bunker and grounds are pretty. If you are interested in Vietnamese history it's a must!

The Hi Van Pass

"This is the material I want!"

The pretty lanterns in Hoi An.

New Years Eve drinkies!

Me posing on the hotel balcony.

The Cu Chi tunnels

AA Happy looking Vietnamese Guerrilla guarding her post.

The A and O show in the Ho Chi Minh city Opera House. Traditional dance and acrobatics.

The Reunification Palace.

Cambodia: 

We were approaching the boarder thinking its going to be a huge pile of bull from everyone who approaches us and we were very surprised! It was the easiest border crossing ever! We had to provide finger prints though (on a scanner) but other than this there was no difference in any other border crossing. It was probably a bit quicker. I would say that being on the official bus from Ho Chi Minh to Phnom Penh definitely sped up the process. When driving through the outskirts of the border it was a lot more deprived than Vietnam. There was litter everywhere, shanty houses with corrugated iron roofs.It was certainly a lot sunnier than Vietnam (at this time of year). Behind me on the coach there was a creepy woman with red nails with her hand on the headrest on my chair. I kept on catching a glimpse of her fingernails caressing the chair, I'd look round at her as if to say "grab your own headrest!" but she would just eyeball me and carry on.  

Phnom Penh

It was a pleasant surprise! We were very apprehensive, especially after all of the corruption-talk. We were expecting tuk-tuks to rip off, and the first guy who took us to our hostel was really genuine and helpful. He was telling us to keep hold of our smaller bag because of thieves, he agreed to take us on a city tour the next day to see the killing fields, S-21 museum (and a few other sights) for a fair price (15 dollars for half day and 25 dollars for a full day for both of us).

This would be our very first time staying in a dorm room, and we chose Top Banana, which was pretty high spec dorm living. We had a huge bed, in a 8 person dorm. To keep the costs down we shared a bed and I slept like a baby but Allan got woke up by people coming in late and turning the light on. 

The following day we got up to get ready for the day out on the tuk-tuk. The guy (from the night before) sent his mate to take us out, and bless him he waited 1 and a half hours for us to have breakfast get ready and pack our bags. He had a large strawberry birth mark on his face and had excellent English. He was telling Allan all about the protests that had happened on the Friday that we arrived. At least four people got shot and died when the police opened fire on innocent factory workers protesting about their wages being too low. He said that 'the people' want Cambodian National Rescue Party to take over from the Cambodian People's Party, we didn't realise anything like this was going on. He revealed that there would be more protests, and 1 million people are on strike too because of the dire conditions they are working in, and how poorly their efforts are financed.

First stop killing fields of Choeung Ek.

This was a very sombre and mournful place. During Pol Pots reign and the rise of Communism, 17000 people executed here by the Khmer Rouge (1975-1979). These people were normal people like you and I, with normal lives and normal jobs before the Khmer Rouge took over and the country converted to being Communist. What's awful is that they were executed for being intelligent, for being respected, for being successful, for wearing glasses, for having money, for being anti-communists, and for not complying to the reeducation of the country. You were not allowed to be academic or rich in the new Cambodia (in the eyes of the Khmer Rouge). Pol Pot wanted the whole country to be run by farmers and the people were forced to leave their jobs, schools and families to go to the country and become a farmer. Pol Pots vision was to create a country that was strengthened by the labour force. If you challenged his reasoning you were as good as dead!

NB. Pol Pot was the leader of the Khmer Rouge, who were in charge of Cambodia for 4 years from 1975-79.

 It was horrific to hear what the cadres of the Khmer Rouge did to these people in the killing fields. They were tricked into going there in the first instance, told they were moving to a new house with better conditions. Once transported to the killing fields, the sound of revolutionary music mixed with the dull hum of a generator filled the air and masked the sound of the victims screams. The executions were always at night time, they were already beaten to a pulp when they arrived at this sorry place (they had been held in the S-21 prison before this point but ill tell you about that later as it was our next stop). 

The mass graves were overgrown with weeds but scattered about the first one there were humerus bones and other small broken weathered bones from the victims, along with tattered scraps of clothing popping through the top of the soil. It was very real and felt very recent too. It was very emotional to see and for once the tourist trap was completely silent. No one spoke at all, just the faint sound of children in a school yard playing in the distance, birds singing a cheerful tune and the warm breeze rustling the sugar palm leaves and grass. Sobering! 

S-21 museum

This was a School turned into a secret torture prison for the Khmer Rouge. The structure was a grey concrete building, square and cold. No longer were the joys of learning nourished in these rooms. The classrooms still had chalk boards and some numbers for counting on the dirty cream walls. There was no furniture in the rooms at all, but metal beds with no mattress and shackles at the corners used to detain previous prisoners. So many ghosts haunt this place, there were still flecks of blood on the floor tiles where people had been beaten and interrogated. The  whole experience was extremely upsetting. I found myself in tears looking at the photographs of their victims, some of them were small children. As brutal as they were, the Khmer Rouge were actually very good at documenting everything, every victim was photographed. Before leaving the museum, feeling somewhat depressed and enlightened at the same time we met a guy, one of the lucky seven who survived the prison when the regime were forced out and the prison discovered.  He must value everyday of his life, it was a frightening place and he may have not lived if the regime had ruled for one more day. How scary is that! He had written a book about his experiences and we bought a copy of it to send home. The whole place reflected the dictatorship rule, with barbed wire over the passageways to prevent people from killing themselves and there where rules of conduct on display: you must answer questions immediately, you must not cry when being electrocuted, etc. Madness.  

The old school that made the S-21 prison.

One of the upper torture rooms, that once served as a classroom.

This is a place to mourn so no smiling or laughing it;s disrespectful!

Me inside one of the very very small cells where prisoners were held.

The Gallows: 

One device used to torture prisoners. Their hands were tied behind their back, they were lifted with the rope that tied them and dunked in the water. This was done repeatedly.  

Some of the women and children tortured.

A survivor of the S-21 prison. Lucky guy!

Siem Reap: Angkor base town

We were heading to Siem Reap because it was the closest place to Angkor Archeological site. When we arrived it was so touristy, and more like a holiday resort than anywhere else we'd seen in Cambodia. There were big flashy hotels, big bus loads of older westerners in stupid hats and pastel coloured clothes. We really struggled to find accommodation because all the rooms were booked up with groups of tourists and travellers,  even after booking a room online we were turned down upon arrival because we were to pay later. We had the first night sorted but after that it was difficult.

On the first day of exploring the temples with our 3-day pass, we decided to see the smaller less visited temples and work our way up to Angkor the following day. We flagged down a tuk-tuk and negotiated a price . We agreed on 18 dollars for him to drive us about the complex for 6 hours.

I think the tomb raider (Ta Phomh) temple was the best for me. It was old and decrepit with big knobbly ancient roots devouring the stonework. Allan and I went off the beaten track exploring all of the nooks and crannies. It was nice to escape the massive tour groups too, I felt a bit like Lara Croft creeping through the musty crooked hallways in search of some lost treasure. Well maybe not quite like her, but a more realistic version of her, with red hair, less breasts and more belly fat. We didn't find any treasures, but we did have fun climbing up and down the fallen stones. There is an ongoing debate about the restoration project at Ta Prohm, whether or not the trees should go or be left to do as they naturally would? I like them and I think they are an excellent example of how nature is greater and more powerful than mankind's efforts. Respect to Mother Nature! 

We got up at 4:50am to cycle to Angkor Wat to watch the sunrise, unfortunately everyone else in town did too. No-one was actually watching it, they were just photographing as if they're going to be 'national geographic photographer of the year'. It was a shame really, because if there was only Allan and I and some epic classical music playing, this would have been the most amazing experience ever, but it was a battle for a tiny space of mud to watch the sunrise.

It was a grand huge site, well it is the biggest religious building on the planet! There were cheeky monkeys all around the perimeter. One stole a woman's water and spent a good few minutes trying to open the bottle and then when he did he spilled the water on the floor and began licking it up like a dog. Everyone began laughing at him, and he was fully aware why, so he stopped licking it up off the floor and proceeded to drink from the bottle like a human. Clever monkey!

Allan didn't seem too impressed by Angkor,  but i think it was because he was very tired from getting up so early to see the sunrise. Nevertheless he still decided to get up the following day and see the sunrise at Angkor again because the amateur photographers had spoiled the experience for him.

I loved the Bayon it was such a surreal place with sculpted faces everywhere! supposedly the faces of the Buddhist Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, which are also supposed to resemble the king who built the temple, Jayavarman 7th. He built a lot of the place (being Angkor) in the 12th century and was very well respected and loved by his people.

We followed the enormous crowds up the hill to Baphoun where we watched a beautiful sunset. There was a really strange man photographing a tall white blond woman repeatedly. She was completely oblivious even when he began following her and photographing her at close range. He was almost rubbing up against her while she was blissfully unaware of his creepiness. Sadly, once again cameras spoil a moment! 

Ta Phrom  (Tomb Raider Temple)

Angkor Sunrise 1

Angkor sunrise 2

Angkor sunrise 3

Clever monkey

The Bayon

See the blonde at the back with the white t-shirt on...she was the one getting stalked.

A real 4-leafed clover.

Back to Bangkok 

We spent most of our time in Bangkok sightseeing. We saw the biggest laying Buddha in the world, and he has mother of pearl patterns on his feet. It was so ornate it must have taken ages to craft. There were so many people inappropriately dressed for visiting a temple: short skirts/shorts and skinny strapped tops with too much skin on show. The monks would be beside themselves, hence why they hand out sarongs to fleshy travellers before they enter the temple.

This time round I think we both feel a lot less intimidated by Bangkok, I think it's because we have travelled for some time now and the chaos is a lot more familiar, having been to Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City too (which are similar in pace and density).

I have found myself a little addicted to seven eleven iced coffees! They are 24 baht for a huge one (not even 50p). They are the perfect way to chill out in hot sticky humidity.

We booked our sleeper train to Koh Samui via Chumpon where we get off and hop on the ferry. Sleeper train is the best way to travel, if you are travelling overnight in Thailand (or any other place for that matter). You have a bunk bed to yourself and the train attendants come along and make your bed for you. It's quite luxurious in comparison to night bus. However, as great as it was at the time it was a terribly long journey and we didn't arrive in Koh Samui until 3 hours later than expected due to delays.

Koh Samui: beach bum heaven 12/01/14

I couldn't wait to see everyone! It felt like it had been too long since I saw my Sisters and i missed them both very much. Koh Samui was just too much like a holiday resort for us, and we weren't used to it. It reminded us of a destination in Europe, it was not like the rest of Thailand: cultured and spicy with prices to die for. It was expensive (by our standards). To people who had not been to the rest of Thailand would say that it was 'cheap' here compared to back home, which is true, but we had been all over the north of Thailand and we could barter for everything and anything and nearly always got a good deal. Here our money was not as we'll spent. 

Katy (my sister), Neal and everyone else were all staying at the Arc Bar, which was very central, we were 2km outside of town a 30 minute walk (but a lot cheaper). 

We finally met up with everyone at Arc Bar. Everyone had been drinking for the best part of the day so were miles ahead of us. It was great to see our Katy. 

The next day Allan and I hired a scooter to go explore the Island, we're not ones for lying around all day (because I go red and Allan turns into a freckle) so we headed off to check out the sights. We saw a mummified Buddha with sunglasses on and two waterfalls, one if which we had a little swim in. 

We went back into town to see Laura and Adam (who had arrived a day later than everyone else even though they left a day earlier). They had been having a little tipple and sunbathing at Arc Bar while we'd been out. The following day, as a group we all decided to go to the An Thong marine park on a speed boat, it was this place that inspired the novel 'The Beach'. Our Island hopping journey had begun. 

An Thong Marine Park 14/01/14

We pretty much had the boat to ourselves (or so it was marketed to us at the time). In reality we took up half of the boat, the rest were couples, a family, a group of guys and two Russian girls who were looking very glamorous. Blissfully unaware of what the journey would be like we sat at the back, as a group. During the ride to our first stop we all got absolutely soaked! The back was the bumpiest and wettest part of the boat. 

The sights were beautiful and it was the perfect day for it. We snorkelled in the clearest waters and saw the most decorative fish I'd ever seen in the ocean. Later on we had a huge buffet lunch and played with a little monkey called 'Natalie' who like to pulled down on your clothes, as Sophie (our Katy's friend) found out much to her embarrassment. 

We stopped to kayak around another island after lunch, which was pretty scary as the sea waves were high and mighty, but we made it all the way around the rock without capsizing. Neal and Adam decided to have another shot at going round the huge protruding rock, in hope to beat the time of their last effort. They set off hoping to overtake Emily and Hannah, who were probably about halfway around the rock before the boys had sat foot in the water. Time went by, and Emily and Hannah returned to the beach unscathed, even after it looked as though they were heading out to the next island for a while. Where's Adan and Neal? The question on everyone's lips. People were beginning to get worried when... A figure was seen bobbing in the water holding a paddle and attempting to stay afloat. Both of the boys didn't make it round the rock second time round, and had to rescued by the tour guides after their kayak capsized in a wave. Hilarious!

We were on a boat trip, so the general consensus is that you would get wet at some point. You only need to read the itinerary to realise this. Nevertheless, some people didn't indulge in the clear waters of the Thailand Gulf, and instead decided that their trip was simply and excuse to take catalogue-style photographs of each other in their bikinis. Yes, the two Russian girls didn't bother to get involved in any of the water activities. While we were kayaking, they were posing in numerous provocative positions around the beach. Boring! Anyway, they had been sat at the front the whole time we were in the boat, and Allan and I Decided we'd like to experience the front for a change too. We sat down in the seats, and the Russain girls were last on. They came to collect their things, and then boasted "these were our seats!" Allan replied "Did you pay extra money to sit here? I think we all paid the same!". They were not too pleased at being told that they weren't anyone's seats, they were first come first served. If we had have asked them if we could sit three they probably would have said no haha. Anyway, they trodden off to the back of the boat, and got absolutely soaked on the journey back. I could feel my right ear burning, they were fuming! However glamorous they had looked, they no longer did at the end, one of them had a plastic bag over their head the whole time. I probably shouldn't laugh at this, as it is a little bit mean...but I just couldn't help myself. 

Koh Panghan: The Full Moon Party 15/01/14

The island was inundated with tourists, from all over the globe. The most annoying were the Australians, who just seemed to be that bit more in your face and rude than every other off-their-face westerner. (This is merely an observation at the time and by no means a generalisation of Australians). Katy and Neal had gotten engaged the day before too so the spirits were high. The town was a neon nation: with t-shirts, flowers and body paint on everyone in sight. We were also donning our very own chavvy neon tops, ready to get sucked into organised chaos that is 'The Full Moon Party'. 

The first few bars we stood outside of played commercial pop/dance music, which intermingled with the bar next door, which played a different genre. When we eventually moved down the beach towards Tommys Resort it started to live upto my expectations. Full on hard dance music and phsytrance blasting from huge speakers. Definitely an improvement! 

Koh Tao: divers delight 18/01/14

We planned on spending a few days chilling on the island of Koh Tao before moving on to Phi Phi. If was a relatively small island, and one day we walked from the west coast to the east coast. We had been told that this was the place to be if you wanted to do a diving course or even a fun dive, in fact it was even nice to snorkel there. We must have arrived when the weather took hold and conditions were poor for snorkelling. We rented goggles and a snorkel and went over to an island off the west coast which was famed for its dive/snorkel spots. We nearly didn't make it over because the water was so rough and the wind was strong. It was quite an effort getting off the rickety wooden long boat and onto the floating jetty. I felt a little intoxicated. When we finally got the chance to snorkel in the Japanese Gardens it was so cloudy we didn't see a thing. Besides this the island was gorgeous, and would have been even more gorgeous if there weren't so many tourists but what do you expect from an amazing place.. There had to be hundreds of people soaking up the beauty. 

We had narrowly avoided a ladyboy show on a few occasions during our travels but upon finding a free show in Koh Tao we decided to check it out. It was bold, bright, glittery and camp! I loved it. Big diva ballads and insanely beautiful ladyboys, and some blokes dressed as women who quite clearly had been roped into performing because some other ladyboy was off sick. 

Koh Phi Phi: The Beach

We stayed an extra day in Koh Tao hoping to get a good bit of snorkelling done because we'd not been able to see much the day before. Sadly there was no change in the weather and after a wasted day we booked a night boat to the mainland to start our journey to Phi Phi. 

We were apprehensive about getting the night boat, after a friend of ours told us it resembled a pirate ship where you get a mat on the ground and you end up sleeping next to complete strangers, perspiring ridiculously in the humidity. We were not looking forward to it. Nevertheless it was not as unpleasant